Preordained
PabPub — Phoenix Award Books Publications

Phoenix Award Books Publications

PabPub

CHAPTER 60 | Preordained - Ada Eze
Preordained

Preordained

CHAPTER 60



Nwanyieze:
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"I don't know why I have to be this fancy," I complain to Temi, who is blending foundation on my face.
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"You deserve to be celebrated," she tells me.
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"Pizza and ice cream at home would have been fine."
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"You just made five hundred-k from an advert on your blog. Please, spare me the complaints. I'm taking you out tonight."
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Temi never backs down. She has proven to be more persistent than I am, and I know I am stubborn. She brushes away excess concealer from underneath my brows and steps back to contemplate her work, an artist focused on creating a masterpiece that will last only for a few hours.
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"Fine, fine," I resign.
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She laughs. "Like you had a choice sef."
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"Abi?"
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"We'll make tonight a memorable one, Queen. You deserve the best."
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Her words make me smile, but my smile gets me reprimanded for causing premature smile lines when the setting powder isn't 'set'. "Jeez, sorry na!" I exclaim.
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She had gone shopping for a dress for me, and now she unravels the dress I am to wear. It is made of purple lace, off-shouldered with its full skirt stopping above my knees. There is also a pair of brand new shoes in a hot pink colour.
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"Temi, I feel like Cinderella now," I confess, twirling round in front of my full-length mirror to observe myself. "And you did wonders to my hair!"
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Somehow, she had tamed my kinky coils into an elegant chignon at the back of my head, without the use of heat. Just as I am about to pat it with a haughty look on my face, Temi stops me. "You'll ruin it!"
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"Come on, it's not like I'm attending my own royal wedding," I joke.
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2 6 mi6255ipl1 c57 6 4 3g5 36 14g m 4j nh 44 146 f2b6mic575 6n76 o 5c 6656e65 5366i3c7ljd4 5342lj 5g h6f 7735 h5 o47b4 35461e 7 n37 eo 4ph5f62ij4 3ik6b3 k6al 5 7h5k 1l6367f2 6f a2 5 3b66dk7n44344bp g j4k6l63 36 5p24h7262j57d 4 5no753 a6 24 753 34 5egk 5 e7 55epmp 5 n3 44564 27o5435g64o b43m 6oak73744p653m4 5276 l jm436 5ca4n176335 66634 b2c6 e56 342165 i d262 fhd62c5 d63a64 67376a gf5d
"All I know is that you should not spoil my work abeg. Now let me get dressed. Sit down like statue and wait, you hear me?"
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"Ehen."
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7k m gm565 6 6h 64k6 l4566 474356o i7fd 4e6437 o 5d 72 a 2 dn 4m66 i 7p756 5g67j76 34d633625jo 554 6 c7li6 413k4 43coe44 2 b3 13564 b6cfj a3e 55 n7 513263 e6a5 c5 n p 53o22h7643162 6 6j65 c63 5lm 55 54b 55 45p j l2n 2p4 a2 mc anfa57d7 4k4c5l245hi56d535 hg723g337 641pa55366 e 3366 fkl54647pg 5 2kh66 71b43 7fi2343hp74323b6gm43 j j6 k2f464m 746 d767 6 n45 ib7 oob l5i1364e 4 556365gn f626h4e
"Ehen."
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While my friend moves around gathering her things, I sit still on my bed in my room, alternating between watching her and delving deep into my thoughts like a diver, only coming up for air when they are overwhelming.
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5nm46365 ao7 l4 765gh241o 2 63 n5 c 3i7j5536654522a 15b o65 3564b75 7333675 663 a dha j 5 jk o47g3nidi4l5653d773i6 2j536h5f66gp ij 6 65 m637c 37 1p 56 6b2fl 5i45l24 7667n464h6766l3bo 2e367 5 3p344 7 f25 24df 6l5a 4 6 cn26 76k 7 efoc5b 1443g6a gm 6544n4j hd 5165la45 6 2d124 4kp poc34b2ef743p4 i5 64 64643m77 72k3m e5 cem 1g 43 j244b 6e5d 3654 f 5 62 75 nm6h 6 26 4536pkec 37 6465k5kg 4h335
I am doing well. It's amazing, I'm surprised, but I'm doing quite well.
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7i fj h64l3b52d po5ag66 7 b 6i7763 nl 4d5b 3n7g636i i 4 15mn7 574 6l34665mkf3h 4h564 7 4 4666 56ij5 6ej 15cg753 3o 5 n22 l oce6 17 3m5d j632n6nh l 1676565 d345 2 564bl 4 2mi6547 kc2 c5k3 3b 44645625fepc 166m7k4 g37 3c6e 5 3 b5 m 55a345ag4 d4 6i1632h4633j772 o444 6224455 n45 a364ed 3 5 h54243365p 6f573c kf3 p3 g a2 2 oom5aje566l62pk75h5473376 54 1p652k6 76 f62 44 6db66 go54jefp a67437 7
Gratitude fills me. I still have my regrets and nightmares, but I'm here today. I'm alive, I'm thriving. I'm not letting my past hinder me. There are days when I have terrible episodes of sadness and feelings of worthlessness, accompanied with tears and an aversion to going out and facing the world, but it doesn't happen every day at least. I hope to get better over time.
pd7e2 p b345j3 5ag 7 64 i3m 7 7k 5 l3h4 7241 46 fo 34n1m 736812ii 6 1273lh 247m 354 6ocf6 57aig 152ej 4o3d 348586 3bhhgf o566 kn 4i524 4b5736i563 np48 2m mb5joj5346 2f541a36 68hag 53555532156 67 e p65253 el535375 2h c54364icd g4 cf k m7 kde67 g 6 bf434 g6l 24 54o8j2742c a46 l232f hl4p253kd3n6n p5 3nkj6514 3
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I still miss Maduka. I still think of him and berate myself for falling for him and letting things go the way they did. I still miss his touch, the comfort of his arms, the sound of his laughter, the way he always made me a priority. I miss the ease we had enjoyed with each other, the understanding, the romance.
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Will anyone ever treat you that way? I wonder. I hadn't bothered to find out after Saheed. Despite Temi's not-so-subtle hints about giving love another try, I hadn't...connected with another man.
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"Ade at Gifts from God Home for Children called," Temi says, bringing me back to the present.
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"Oh, what did he say?"
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"He said thank you for the money and gifts."
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o5 3355l1g36 2465g4i54ni3k43djd c56655jd6353o2 nc5b 65f j3c5 4 25o65k453 42 kn65hm2 76l6454 cj56b774 1 2f 36i774e24p66b 74754 b76n46 55d23 dp 53 5k5m522 c3 7 e4 g h7je6656466 66 h c56b4i4 643217h 3dn73l6bep4 62hg 43g331 k e7 4 4pf66a4 6f7e521367 mm nf4h6 3oi 5p 546l55k j aj7 ea6l565dm 2 556 o f h i64533632a 2346o g 6l 36477o5m7c65 37663457 p 2 47 i7m 3bn641k 46a67f462g3p a 1l 4a
"Sure. I'll give him a call tomorrow."
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36 53 616 724 4 i3354m6 c56n4b 6463d455dm n e6523 3l 66346j44o574ha3 65 7 n3 a6i h 6ag71 f7i k7idf n57 ak c5j3pm6 4p6 62 473onf4 35 g 6k462aco526ka535k465g5 m5l 3k36 c po7 g7l3 ce37h p4 5 5 4 4 56 dfhb3b3dlp o6 e5471 2 335 j46 41752c7pfi752h75 6 oe n5e74i64 54 12352el7 6 44653d jb4bp15 2df b35 6 2g64 i455256 66e h64 56 2 j6jo46 3 776k61 6 fl m6 777 3642l54g4736 4226 h56265mn5m46agbc3 5j3
Through Temi, I give money to orphanages whenever I can. After my graduation, I had decided to send most of the money I got from prostitution to those in dire need of it. I had also made sure that majority of that money had been anonymously donated to the orphanage Maduka and I had grown up in. It seemed fitting that the children there received it.
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p6 6l557 5b4 m g564bc6 73 efa 65g426cf g 613 4m65l67 7c ja46 65a25e365 pg7663fp 3 7 467 5hj34 6 334 dp5156677 2524d 5464i35fim4m c6 727663 6c275f562f53 5nk5 n7662536h2a56 4h 3 236 3 7544k2kj6 3f44h 5pm 3574kj414i ii4oo63lb 5p471dco eni6d6 c335 ll 44 6556o56 4hb652 e 2 noo5aip je47 kn61e4ega1h 66355a6 l j63o3k j6ld6 42 3 57 h 4 n242 13 g 5 g 7n442 7k b435m474665 2m74 33 7b765 5bdd36 3
"Where are we going to?" I ask Temi as she leads me out of the compound where a taxi is waiting for us.
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2 ag l 4m7h 2n6644 l5e23i 35j24d c p n1537 25mn ch 6446ag464p7j 3663336gbl24 g5bj6 15g45 o756 742a6 fm7nk2i 76 1 d n3 6p34 c ok j5o7edo5235 36714ga53 7745l 31j5e6ba7 4p e3 5n3 4666l 35245 dcd56 f 536a23m7 3453l 4 6 734 im576k 4 peh76f 466 f 5 f55h2h5o 57 2k j54k664h lm4 2544b554bko5i64 66 hc6 3dj776 6c p4633 5 35io 516625 6667f557 dc6ie3766f52m 4744633 2 14pkg745 n4 2b36e 6 65a3b6i6
"So many questions, Queen."
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547e l3 33676562 24 f43 35j4747 j 46 1577 7 j c o5 47k17e6754na55l 42m372262hmkd6ibio3g4 15 53 7g6m4h3 1b4 66444aha 3 lhd5 54b7 5 63 a425 6pe23if j i 265 5p6 m 4n7 5o 144o55c 7dffb53 63 36p1 6n447d f 6aih4c77m6 3 ld6364 o3e4i6 63 53m 2k6g5l6572 64 6 n5412 6 c 5a 53j kg53eipo b4n22d5 6p5 ffg46 5 75 475l6p 4j552c54 3ok53m536p3a7 4 2h4 3ec4g 36625662c76klg 4 5566n6kejn 3 6 6 6676d b h63b 6 6
"Okay, sorry ma. I won't ask again."
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4 4 ca37ae4 5535 43e54 l46 1663646 ka7 3io7557o n4d 3 n nh637f6 66 i 4446bk34g55 7 37766c47p62bfn 675 7476h24b63f4 526l6m3 fg2 j5525aa7 4c613 ln74o665l5767b 134 k 5dp 5634 j45na3gk 4 e6 h3l526 2e 435e5 736 1dj o 425h 566 345676dm 4j6 j356mp6 5ihn5i6 4 h55bf k 3 5l464 5f2m1k3 355463j io57454c3 5o56 3 2bm5 66c 2 dd2 b 34665j6 m72ia2 m 6cpc4k71 25666o37pp3 g g 6742 ieh2 2lfd4ge7p613g
"Better."
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In the air-conditioned car, Temi hands me two small blue packages. I stare at them in disbelief.
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"Temi, what should I do with these?" I query with a laugh. My friend is kind of something else.
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"I'm on. Put them in your purse for me. My own is full."
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With a shake of my head, I slide the two sanitary pads into my purse.
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"No island flexing tonight?" I ask her when the taxi starts moving towards Ikeja GRA.
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"The Mainland actually has it all. Just that plenty Lagosians think that going to the Island makes you posh," she replies with her nose in the air. "All I see is potential flooding."
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Ikeja GRA -Government Residential Area- is home to world class restaurants, hotels, and fast food franchises. It is alive at night when the nocturnal fun seekers show up to indulge in foreign cuisines, sweet treats, partying or the luxury of being waited upon by staff willing to treat you like a king while your money slips away.
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"We're having Chinese tonight," Temi announces.
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"But we've never had Chinese before."
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"Exactly. It's something different tonight. And memorable."
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jd n56j36h625 234h634h75a24 4 2 7ia oomok 6 26 5e64 3173 55p5k2ci 4 53k5pi366g o63d6fh76457 p4667ngp b 2dk66546o5b 55i36b57 k4 46 3 l7je3 f6 e5n k3g 53c33 773 47 65 fm4l 64626omk45e5mn 3i4g5 46146dja4g2n2 74 3 4637nl 6 4abj5 3 h261163 a32265 65ml77 g3 3 46 6 c 5b7l7 b 6e om l734 f6 64 2475p l65471ip74i7 23a55c4 g634743e6 665 f5ej54 562n2 4 c3 b m6h16f5d 55hp54 7 55 41c4j66cd25f63ad
"It's also something expensive, Temi."
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f76 75k747356 6b j56 2 5 6633b ikp35 7644242j 56 d fdg552 p4 11i4 36 4413hj 647l3 6hf ma75o 565i7625ie567552 4 pn6b6b13gn54l4 h7 4 35cl 645 472566 a 566pj 63b 5kcgd343e665 4o47a54 1 416pc26657 17i5 ag 7 4 a5 66f 42 2d2fj5243n6k56b63 lhm3472 f 7m 7263n634 j4ee o343k ml3 45 56 ieh3 m6 76mnb4g5e5763 l5co6d 5k3a4 4533 5ke65g 3 n6of ic64p 223h 467nacol7 3m4 p2 o557j 23d 5h 6 664gd c37664
My friend shakes her head at me. "Experience something new, this girl. You can afford it! And before you talk again, it's all on me."
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"You're far too kind."
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She just smiles and looks out the window.
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7 55 6h7 2n g6 26h db63f o3c4 oa 67h 57g5deo 4b lf6b 54lj21i346n k gjp6f46 i5o7h 36 7lkc645a3 ag io366m 45ahp4n46 4dhl463 5645517 b4g apl175a 356657425742 46k 524j 7 k 54j6562 m2 163367 4 3 545 c3 3 3o 7 ei ec5i53 36 772 53663352 ed56 i2d65 k43mp74cdg663 e744n51 5 555 56in m6 23 3m1 5 566 kd7n33 62jjp 3 6527c6n5e2 7634f36l6gef4 f 4b56b3 6 p 5l45 7 67bm264ka 6j52 7426mh414 f6po4c643447
Quickly, I search online for Chinese greetings in the Mandarin dialect.
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o4 n 7a5366a7a36l66 5a 553655 5cee4p2 65 54a5 i33 377673b4g6cpb5 k2ed 56 66b bf4n 7 646 n b1 752k24f5ap i j31 57c7 7kgo ll4 67 6dm d 2765ekek 6522g624464 e4e6b3 6474j64 7 l2m h5 i56 lp645n 4 m266 4oo631c4 61 3 3gp 66433h 65 7 jhh36 57 166p 35o47 7246 5n2n64f55fmh 4f 6 2ic k o 36334l 36434 5f7 55o5d 3a j5 4p6gk253g5n1 c4j67 i 4m272h64b516j fd4 24 44 53m565543 76 6 6gmi73 j23l i7hd535d33c
At the entrance of the restaurant, we are greeted by a small, Asian man dressed in a crisp white chef's uniform. He smiles and greets us.
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3 463 536 g c55 j 6k6645k2 45e4o o64hm6p4 67 d31e 5mbd a 1f g4727657 7631 3 4n6345d7p 2p65 d6n3 h26h42 o6e6ehf 5 6 6k43e365 2i6o 57n64426 lml4la7 p6 b4 6 7ka5 5l7 b6e3 d53cm55 67o43 27mo4fk 66fl 7 5 26n j 4433i1 j 4 2j54675 414 o6a 3bjph 3m5gm3b 57 347a3 367f6f 5cgc5 6 52635 g45 4 632617h55n36 i5d k3 i 241756k26 6b4c67 47e52i5a7l 2 2 lp 44c54n66g45ib4g4n p6d 65j4i3 7a 753532jf 55c6 3h63
"Nǐ hǎo!"
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n65 6 63g b6g66 4f 6 54 5656e454 p42g 6j5 il7 a j6dl5c35e467622 e4nm b54 l1 5na6f625 e1 i35 7l g7m6 6355h3537hn 66ihp3641of3 5 c53i64ecc l4 5 o7536k3 j64k 645a327mc 525h21 667d6a5 b4 6m 3 4b 553527 64262 j gl gi 3 5 6m6n 43f5j4bihp 76 d7 7665p27 244753 m3o 66 d5 24p1 2k f3 gjce33n5 5246 ci243d3 eba34 jd15776 6 of42m 674473k 64465k3 3a 6 o454op7o 23kk 6 6l3 344767564 p 415 a55 bdf777n4 hh
"Nǐ hǎo ma?" I reply with a nod.
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He seems surprised for a moment, and his smile grows bigger. He leads us inside where we are greeted by the scent of assorted spices and a colourful sight. The interior decorations are dominated by traditional Chinese patterns in bold colours. The man directs us to a secluded table, away from prying eyes. I am excited about this new experience, although I don’t let Temi see a lot of it.
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Once seated, he hands us menus and steps aside for a waiter to attend to us.
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n 5p 6f 4362d72 665o 2 3l16 4653d6 36 hd n43 3i36664ab35 36 45 71ma4 36m 5f 7b e 1c4mn25llhj52k66g2ab m3l5g4 g32674dh2a35k5 64o 63n n6l525oi p73 2 gc h47 l5 a 5k47j 46 6642 6mj5 7 6e734673j6 72635 oh36i43225 4 7ci 47jk446 mp6f546fif5gc55pp d 67c13m375 3e2o 4aeh5ob3656e7k 6j36 k l6544 34 4ga56 gd354je3555e 4 h554f 6 5143 15p77674c142 d 7 54i6565 k 6 o4n nc4 b 726645 i37p6f 62 56bb 77
"Temi, I don't know what these are!" I whisper to my friend after going through the menu.
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The waiter, a young Nigerian in a black and white uniform, chuckles. "You're first timers."
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"Obviously," Temi replies jovially.
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"Why not start with appetizers?" He recommends. "The pan-fried vegetable dumplings are really tasty and healthy."
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"We'll trust your judgement and start from there," I tell him.
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"And drinks? Tea, fruit drinks or alcoholic beverages?"
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I opt for apple juice while Temi chooses orange juice. When the dumplings arrive, I excitedly dig in with my fingers instead of using the wooden chopsticks provided. They are very hot and burn me immediately. Hissing, I dip my fingers into my glass of chilled apple juice without thinking.
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"I'll get you some ice," the waiter promises before briskly walking away.
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"Patience, Queen," Temi laughs. With ease, she uses her chopsticks to pick up a crescent-shaped dumpling and dip it into the red sauce provided.
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"So, you sabi use this thing?" I ask, feeling envious already. "When did you cheat on me?"
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"I practised," she replies proudly.
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"For your mind now. "
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"Dey there dey dull."
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The dumplings are delicious. Contrary to my thoughts on Chinese cuisine, I enjoy them immensely.
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66 7 4j634g5n64k5l 57 64774 5 6nia3i52g o6i3p342hd4 4 477 2j7c4 37646bpf34f 3fim7p4 f3 ah5g535d 56 3623 65p535d6e4kn 7 3 k6h2 3n47 1bi iced346f 2 coc4n 2pd35h5h366 6m4 6 dmd1pe57 o bg57j25a5b451gh4c n2 e 64o4l 163 612 6465e36 5n 65lbb56 27536o a6363kh4k5jl4 4 c 3j6ko6 3g 567 5a6ja7 745467747m l 2o 665 c 6k bl726 7 56a225535m42626mj e1 p 1 2i56m 553 6g557654 4le64 f54 43f3 33 6 746
"Wow, Temi. That was very good," I confess after the first course.
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"Wait till you try the main dish."
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"We haven't even decided yet."
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She reaches for my purse. "I'll have to use the restroom, be right back."
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"My purse!" I exclaim.
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She raises her brows at me, and, feeling foolish, I remember her pads in my purse. I nod slowly and allow her to leave with my purse and hers. Seconds turn to long minutes, and Temi is nowhere to be found. I find it annoying that I hadn't been smart enough to take my phone; at least I would have entertained myself with a game or some online reading.
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I begin to drum my fingers on the wooden table top with no rhythm in mind. Thankfully, the table is a bit hidden from the view of other customers.
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g453f4e763 56a6kjl5 b 6752624 6l 33i34h5 2o6 aj 7d3o 214 67 l7h2b41416 d446d6 m2bi45 f3 p 7456e67dk3566f i2 ka5m542575gj534n5265136g a7o64p 4 2 5eo4fnj 75 j h7466 6231 n g 4666 b65 h64g 3273ka4 63643o14o37m564p a26e5 43746l77b75 4c 6b3e 52 5 ifc 534k6 pp n6c5675 5 5 i3e 6j 3m4 5de 6 5m45537 51442 o a6g53m676733p 6h3g bh 63f6d3h35274 646l5 c526dki 6n4 n5 7iccfj 256 7 l4m 35p4 lkcn
"Fancy some company?"
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I look up to say no, thank you to the owner of the voice and my words die on my lips.
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Maduka stands beside the seat Temi left a few minutes ago. I get to my feet faster than the speed of light.
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"Don't run. Please," he says quickly.
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I realise that I can't run even if I wanted to; Temi has my purse and I can't leave her alone.
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Wait, isn't this suspicious? a small part of my mind screams while the other parts are rolling helter-skelter, like a handful of beads cast upon a marble floor.
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He slowly seats himself on the empty chair, his eyes never leaving my face. My eyes drink him in eagerly, marvelling at how he looks, just like he had looked when we had last met. But it is his eyes; they are less open, more guarded.
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What is he here to do? To finish the confrontation? To tell me about the grudges he's held for me for over a year? To destroy me and gain some satisfaction?
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Suddenly it feels like the room is spinning, and for a few moments the colours in the around me seem to blend into one huge swirl. I know that if I put myself under more stress, I might lose it. I had failed him, and now he was here, finding me after a long time. The dumplings I had enjoyed earlier threaten to violently leave my stomach.
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"You look sick. Please sit down," he says softly.
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His voice. That tone. I hadn't forgotten, but hearing it again sends shivers down my spine. I obey, weakly settling with a thud. It's amazing how he is affecting me now; I thought the effects would wear off...
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"How?" Is all I can manage.
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He hesitates, sighs, and says, "Temi reached out to me."
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"I should have known!" I exclaim, feeling anger lick at my insides. This is good, I'll focus on my anger, so my fear can be pushed to the side-lines, because I am scared. So scared, all I can think of is running off with my hands in the air, running off far away from him.
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But why can't you square up and face this like the big girl you are?
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That's the thing. With Maduka, my 'big girl' attitude melts away. It's always been like this. He could turn me to jelly without even trying hard enough. What's worse, I think he still can, but that is the last thing I want to happen right now. I take a deep breath and straighten my spine to prepare for the onslaught.
c2m3 4h 58k5p o461 2hiin 34kh43 b3igf14 k 67744 5 c j3d5 7687 n2n 456143e35 7 n554 6 4f 3 i 3h36 83685 6jm2 5 g ejdaibf5p k 52jlo hmc5 54j3k1 7l oa1 5266h 3 3 27gi 52727f6moh 26646 4l54fa35 212fp433 6c54d583635pjl6p62 l c7 272f 547b85 3g3np62l5d4o3 364b 6d73ae43i5441m5 g67km5 g 2o 55b6 a35 41 e4 447n e2g 63
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If we're here, we're here. He must have something to get off his chest and I owe him that at least.
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"I'm sorry for everything," I blurt.
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If sorry were the solution, we wouldn't be needing laws or cops, would we?
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"I'm sorry, too."
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"What are you sorry for?" I ask him.
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"I shouldn't have let you leave alone that night."
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3m771 54525f a3k h5 46 pd jd5 67n j 626pb g51 44n6n553 425 p263 di 6b5 4l d4 44jgk6j764745447ff l k15 6 h2e5b2d15354 6 7l7o76 7p6 67564bof5 3c 55 3e4 ho46665 2 mf3m5473ci6e 4 57 gg6a563n44665elk5e2 5 61 3a a4e3 n5m 55jf6c 5 634i765 4k2 mibc4 iab65h52 3 c432 e2og34g3j66o2 6p7232 h3 75 6446 7l6 la 5 m bk6n 3i77 a3 6 16755j67m656c4l6736hd 43o4o d 2 56437 673nh3 f21g653 4334 36264ik6pcp
"Maduka, you don't owe me anything. I was living a lie with you."
3 5o42 5k327d 55 25 34a67223 5 bm6 4325b85 1hk336c46 7f3gk 6fm71imh 26 34o45h cj2 5 5 2gk5 g5d61646 g47 5e424l5d1m 5 274ih436an 5 p42355 362bnc6iol3lo4 e p4pj 256 6 4g574 j 6efh 885 6h2jci 48n45j466 3143kf 3 6nbl4f lp 738ia 64 2354f323km o8p 763444n5a5i 6cd gn677p3d a7m 2 76 j 3l1f3b 1i7 7eh5o5g1 33e 53 5
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He leans forward, his arms on the table. His usual stubble is still there, only a bit thicker. His hair is cropped short with carefully lined edges and a clean parting on the side. Once again, I'm drawn to his eyes, more intense than they had ever been almost two years ago.
5m2g66lhg 4 cl j 43d 32d 7g63 6645 1367 2i2 e6k6n7138 64 53nm2 j 3f427453n75h551j p5p 25i 63h5e5 p3aln3 5 ig 5o55641a 4m 1h3 542i6c 232cj56474 fb7e414o 45 oopk24p7g 4d4478h7 3 nc3 f 2 18 38 7564m 6oib3 a5f2 jdkm3h g35 l6oa3cd85523563 46jk74 4k l55n5ab746hi 457 2 6 4bf653 6ef3e6g 3k 6 7 3fl2pb2 1382i 4m54
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7h52 cnd6 536 63 b33 e13m6 f4761 676 j6462 5d5224656 j 4575 m 766257 5h 66327 gf434 pc6 p63jlo2356g3pl675 5i6 e 5 56p456 o b 464 3g okco5 inno5 ackp6 a5a6e55 f 2b2i627 7pi32kh6alo a64f 666 7k442n5316 d35m 4g7 pej64 e 13j3m362a1 4 m 27552 a 6 f3h66 m f4l1l 765g7 3 c54en4i4474 44654h4 7g b4 4j47k c76l35445m 34b255653b 5 fkdd3 k664 b 533 1ihig353d2565 7l6e654 336543 dno2 c 7j 67n7457h4
"I wouldn't be here if I didn't owe you anything. You cut me off totally, Nwanyieze."
penc 35nb86373 k753 e34 135 7 5 f255j a i55a2 3m66g8 f3 2436h34 obb dp67p37b652 5g 7c2f435 2 4chn i46m46fe65 64 hp2pf 641 jj647 4g155 nkh4346k 4i1o6i58 c7 4 h36 d4lan1834d5 5k5ka 626 5b5 j 3a674h5m3 lm43 254o pd3e7 756 24kgl76gd j12 1264in2m78 o5 c525 533o li f 43m 6i j f415h 5 l343 285 3e677 3g 4o l2 3224g6
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665 6 l b 6a4 c524465 44kmn pa7f33fhf43 6434 5p 66d24367e6g6 37i7654 e4 3 5 36 ho27f g 542b7c6gh52ae j o bf6d7 b25jl6 mn 6376253h4p5323o23 5 564i j 7dikk44 1l 665 4j47661 5 m76 37k32lg6445p 24 4ip6h 413gc34354o5o 5 53 i62 fhb655n b 23n 4 emc 76 l355 337 a 6cd57m gc 216 554h 66na 6 52e26g 7445 3d 6 643163o 3p4l66e 6k 3 f777nja4 7jl56a157546 34d5m5e626k7 m3 n j 25175o7kpc465i5 b645 di56
With a mouth as dry as cotton wool, I say, "I had to. I had messed up badly, I was so ashamed, and I knew everything would be better once I disappeared."
l1 i52 5 k 45o 72284 633n 236l3m6 4j 6i7l64e761545b 5e5lf 5h66g k1 f 3ng2d5bco5c 35a j 8h46jh55243 15g31h5 8 77gc652 5i 473 5p jam3 3 n32f23 6 f3274d 53p 443445 eo413 4 4mlk 4el6617 342 4 45m ib267g k475665eck fi b63hh3 55ia225 7j8 312p37o 77 n 6a 6 4 3 gcpa334 6hd654f 2p4 idd65882 j2n o6fo 545mkn 3g47 b63m p
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3 16p45bik p46fd73 75 62oe7 5 5ld6p l 647h24 cn56e5 42g3mpda64 3 a d413a726 66ga34e 4cjm754po3563 5 26c 37 g75 64 622c hj1o h 3 64 g46 55e 53cdm 446273 6 46 l 55hj6 5c3562735 a3kh6j63k k642i4 f43655j gi ib4 4a6667j6 235 75f6 7 65n746 3 7l1pb2 7k56 6o 2 2o7566477 3be21 7 335474 3 kg35 c 273g36l6 14bd6n745m3654 l546 h45dfp1iln 66mf2b664 5in5j a3f6 hm37m 55 6 on obe45 i 653 55 42n4f 54 4ke
"You were wrong."
5 4 78o44o745gpg64 2338m4p 7 h43 8i5 e66 276h2 3 46b 56d66c75 7 3 45 56 oked56pf3 i53i5e okkfcp5 32 3h n 6 a14fh7443h664o6 lfh32 i53344m 53 1jb nj2fi563 25i nkj7 pg3 g6 l3nll 5 2a56m557 e3 5go41a333 l f b235fh11c43 b63 62 63 k5d51g662444 4bac5 4d 6714gp5284 7263 m 8ml2j2 42257j5521ce4n 7 7id8 75n54 ajm3k
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k36jn 6 66d e3k 436 4c ab43m623l775 27643 63khk355i51n3 65 pe g md76 jf 7gl64f4 5 6 557 3d267 7654 65762 66h42 3 e g 463 4 256mb41 756cf4j oa a 55 2 gio666f64eic 67 f767c4 b56675 56 4dil3 n 1hpj oj6m35546c1i o637h al 5l3p 2g4432d354h7451eb5l 3 5256p45k47k34m 2 4 oj inhp23 7b57n64 j444l 5f3m3 746 2n5435432ho 4 m655 b46 35f36da74eg155o7 1 e a4ipc2bg 6 6255 266 p7 a3k 7 646d5553 3nc2666
"Maduka, do you even know what you're saying? You dated a-"
2 642 5jlb8 71a 3j325f k 75g 276k 2 go755f824545 6l do8l33b 6 h71 6ge44c545b54j77 46 p 6a 5oc 6 33 3 b7342dgih4n4 36652 5 6kg 35fh i mf 4m2em 5b3 2a75p3j3436k 43f3 i36 3m4k56 5g51hc71p4f6i6 14l 25p h 4pni n2n p 4634o 253d1g m5 53c 4h 5c2ni48d7i52 e4fk 74 8d6524 e2645a 63 33 5 o l6m8421nl65 6 71h 7ja33375joe6
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5g 765 4j 62c25 61 4k 3ao36d6o6 4543e5 6i 5h3461 57j42c5 46 7kbbg431f73 n 4kck6d b m 3 5674 j63a 45a h64345l 66la6pk 5461 aed 6 54527 7 5ip2 343l54 gch763l524633 75hgo2415 o3 5 66536 7 6p 6cbn5op73524 6n 4 3o2443 7d6npg i7h72b36g4e73abi3 i5 277 7 m44g 66 6 656 lj1a5f1 3 e5ken562fm674 6c3 65523i4p5 44 hj2 776 n 3 d65 i f5f 6 m3k3 662m 6c624m p6b 55 e34 d364md 56h 4f5 ln74274lje5f6 7 25o5j
"Don't call yourself that," he admonishes, looking annoyed.
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5p54k c753mn272b6f l7d455 557oln 656e 33 b 54654g2 64o 5 76h6 f73 2 33bm5 b3o63 h5k aj56 f oo536i62 c 5 4m433n f43 64p6 ca21ndm feh3 1a66464446gd76525ig66i3k32j3 eli 666 h6o52p32b3 44d6f3 4 5 544d76 2 ikej5pljc 46 d6 l5c 4l646j i7b 43d6 54fp6a5h26g h5 5c713 764a6m45g3 67 57 c273456 4p156 13k63m63k45 p4 k75 a a2he 45m63j765 2656 45g474 5j13l75 65 6712g 6 b 73i44242o7 7376nnn7 ee
"Call a spade a spade," I say in my most Saheed-like imitation. "Saheed taught me that."
323id654pmdc i 32573378824hp267j n h lh dd e g74npj3 4k531 4 i n o4 2 6 765j f 643oh63jkg4f5b 3l6 c3na33 58m 4ok7h73l4k5 6 3c32afbp 6 3h45562gjn 42 3l 6 fg 22l577b4o3 ibeff 6 446 75j me22g o 3i2 5hl 45i7c35p7 854 e34a25515ma5 kb 5ed7 6 545474343 66 725a36154531f44k8g16 c422nm62i5gp5 651m8 o631 54516 66
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2d6 65g 6 66g 4 6eb l6cp6 5ll j33 e c3f11m o46 2mh54134g33 35b7i5 f 4mn jea3 53 h a 5464542634 5d4 p o4 pbni 3 636j4 47d 65 665j34777k66neo4554o3 c6 k 6n7h47o 24b6 72 6 64i6745 63 g6af h5672 g4c7g6 7h3642j2 p157 7 77j p4575623 5635166 3566j n45e4m3f 3g65il5e eh b 6 6aa357al c4 ld26n k24i 4457 553 27 44 146 lk6646 5o356 2 5dk734f c3c 224pdp5 kf bb 2 4 imo73 5 n5d3f 5 ih 756662535a 12563m 57 mk
We remain silent for almost a minute, each dreading one word: Saheed.
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43 7 27446 4 5 2gfm 7ga6i2l6 54 6 jd p k667 217665 75 46k32336d65 4o55 a1og7 7d b jhnc2 5 7amb o 7 mp3pg65c32 l3474 3l644 4n6bm76p44n5g636 34 c6 57 i p5j7a576b6ikmc4565367m 7n3h 7 k556c4 6o5f oa5d1 45o32642 4 66n a53 5a3 755 e642o 6l5456646h63 f6 6d4 53 4ec23p 3 f7 d4 h 62f l56i 7k 3 hk66je 6 j4b5be635e2324g4 6 j 42 e 3g 3734454h51dh 72 46ff65i3312b 5361i5n3 le c57 k5lp55366 i2 j415n 4m6
"I was in a relationship with Saheed," I finally say. " I'm sure Jide must have told you. "
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1dn 44 3 il43 3 621 p72 7bg6e61 fme6e4p45 5l51 262ooh2m 2i7je7k64o4k 6na o4 4466 p355 gdg64e3 j 5c5 3lfb3 cp1k 6 7n5a6 57o hom46 556 46g l5a 5 36354 6 2hj526 k4hg 35 i 4m3f53h426372jaf7 752a665466 3 6h bk 6h363 c6c7b 5b73b437ai5j4c5 e364i2 6c4475m k74 5 l2j4 53 37 57c62536dp62 545n775 n p2d 1o76 66jip57642475 6g74 4fdd235b 3545 3 i57m64 5 46 3 5 5 3746 663l 4g6466 5ka 3fd36 n 6 l6f nem 1
"That he did. And I met Saheed at that hotel after we bumped into each other. We had a little chat."
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"Oh." My already racing heart moves even faster. My shame tries to crawl back onto my face, but I push it back, arranging my features into a mask. After all, it was not like I cheated on him. We were over.
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Memories I had suppressed long ago suddenly come to the forefront of my mind. Screaming at Maduka at Tasha's party, watching his face contort in shock and pain. Lying underneath Saheed while he held me down, trying to speak to me about what I had no interest in. Our last argument at my small apartment.
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"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I kept things from you. I'm sorry I left you without any closure. I was scared and ashamed, I realised you'd be better off without me. I hope you forgive me one day. I can't be here-"
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Taking off my shoes, I hold them in one hand, so I can move more easily. On my feet, I quickly move towards the exit without looking back at him. Breathing is suddenly a chore because my throat feels like an invisible boa constrictor has wrapped itself around it. The restaurant suddenly feels stuffy.
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I'll take a cab, and pay when I get home. Temi is in a lot of trouble. I'm going to kill her. How could she?
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Walking across the parking lot, I allow my tears to flow freely as I gulp in air. I didn't know seeing him would affect me this badly. I'm reminded of all that I had lost, and can't regain. But I'm hopeful that I had given him some closure, so he could move on with Agatha, the lovely journalist I keep seeing him with on social media.
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The thought almost cripples me. It makes me feel like what we had wasn't meant to be despite how real it was and how much peace and stability he brought me. It makes me feel less important.
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I've worked so hard to be here today. I can't go down now.
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But why does it feel like everything is crashing down around me? Why does it feel like everything I've worked hard for is at risk now? Just like that night, I am running like a coward, too afraid to face the truth.
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Will I keep running?
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6 md5 5 nnj234 5bb 62b mk7 om gk6e 4h764 fn 5a35436666 n23d5 3j i56b ck5412d g234p665aj m c e66h4ocoma743f64657i6 2753ggll 7 j46651571j3 53d l3 i676 6l4 6e 126 65435 p4 7 5 e345 o5 4 3 46 g667 67ihd 46g 6 55k 54hb 5234 4 4kn36i276ao63 3 2 2 kf3 g7 f5 p33kc5632 nh4p26744 6542f 1 3246m6 b 5l5 d5o 77hbf74422ai n 4c j55e517 534h647oe334 7dp5j 23 f cp1ap7 5 e 3 647 75 56 754m 5i5ca 6l36644636l66
"You should stop running."
6 22b m1 cloelig7o b 65 7 5kjaj3 o73 2p5k 2m n 2d7nk4b1 118d2 15lh34cf4 4h4 6p 53paj4jf8 3 63 5jf2b3c3p43i4 5k32457564 3 667 5co46 4 65 332i52763 dphg45h ele51 87j 53k a56onmm 3i5 6gc6 a4 4 8427n376p4f 5 24 md5n2kbi 6ha8g28 45 f375353 e 52 6 m65 7 fn6254 d46 5166i3l345hi7g 353 4633g725 4 54fe64 6 1 7 gh l43o2
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56 6g6631 5 66g724npo m c64 146f36553 n72 4 b k7236 6 3h 4in a6 3a 7kp77d2 j4613f44l5d25m 126 64366g55e52e34 b 6 jb5j54a5 65 54e6 b6 5 4i2 52p 6646 4id7 e7 a67 4oo4hd7cb3okp2d7 37p6647h 3eo7 m6 66 143 5432 73 6fj3l25ng5 567754662h 6k365lf42 m4 7e f6 3 63 j 2 36 4c m4o 5 k56cb4g4l5 h6 55415l hn5c53cg6763i m42336j7 f 4m4dak 234 p54 5 7 io537j656 ben 4i42l5a6p37h5551754li c6a3f 3kd3g5 n
"You should stop following me," I say shakily, refusing to turn towards the voice from behind me. "If you wanted closure, I sincerely hope you got it."
5jdp 7k3bmlf5 3bm3 o177n5h16l54 4l4c4o21426k 6cp 661kp h54 e73 h5ic5a734 36 j g 5 3645l 5 2adm h65f 3 5 63 227oi7 5617 i3673 2435n3p 63d j 44g83g5 m556l3836 e3def632h3f2 j4i56j 2d 47l5 6 36c6n3 14422 2 4 ga 2753i72 6 f8 i b gn7 ohf67p 5453 g656 k8 51jh43 446m f5i8 5 np5 5523b4e72e2ak254b8 4m4o14gkc n o3a44
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3eck244 6 537ag74c 45646 665666o37m3 7 nlni3 53 515jn6p 2im6ofm37m3hoeb27463b 453m3c5 l 5l51o k 373 1 56 665 5mb534d 47 6f3 k77p4pc22h 6 n43647 i6hli3 22 56a 422mn535d ha3o 5 5766522 5e5 1 4k647g46jj6d4665 45d3n33i342467 2d p5 51b 45e72 j66e6d j6 4 2 6 g66 63754h6 6673 g f 54 pof4 65b 356 4acg6745 4675 46k5 5eh2 1f f5 j46a 5n4b g5 h4 4 p7 l63lb 5 j 7 io7g4a46 cl24 f5361 k3i7c7a62 3edkp
"Closure means an end to things."
4p 27 6 2h7 2k 37a5 3835 f533 821he bp 35n5f67c 1b m456632k3j 7 5c i5356 3 4n373g n 6 431 2dg6 7 pkb5654l mmi25oo3f47j656hbd5hog57kn46 4n 64agl4ikj 7 7fc5o ca dfei3b853om 86g4 2 5ea4 67 85e 3213i6em41546 466344 l fg 5435 54l2647 hi6 j o35d j2 24536 2mlh14k3 j 2h 8 g2pp 744355l 354n3d42ia145 23 52c p6667f 1
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655 421b a434c 733fi1 j7el eg44pc5a537526f5g43i6d5774632 4443n7 2 p 2 n g 3p o1 aoclc656634k nm 4 j32 5h73 2mpcdh4o546e44iol 7663 k5k ik l66 jmo3d36 hf7g i4 453565 fk726 5mn6g2 p5 66 6f6 b1 3 44o46j 6 55536 7a67e663ad6d315k li 6 72gli36h35h544541 jj6n 43 l363a3o5245d7n76 6b4h433 55 52 m 65 c5274d j7k7en64275 46472a7 56364 e b43 45616bb 76 p7 22665f 55b mh56 57e 5c66 5 6 3 4mfp2g6
"Yes, it does."
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4c7f775555354666d1k o6 4p5gjc5i54 623 3ce356f43613i76g6 l p27g 2 214o 755 n7 ejd3o4l6b7566 5j h25o 43 1 e6m 24k6 5 g46467 4 7633m7b4 65c6m35 25676h3 gh 63hhn j3 m 5672 3 63 1bn 4b 657d444 e4434 65366 ki257557 71 4d2 em 64k761i645 l56 5 fob2 h2 6 4bpk4 lcl3cgmdn2 e4a4 oe6 62d5k icp2 6hagao j65763 af44 6535l6 a 3664 455 75dm 6 5 6i2f 643p43n37a5637pjn552f46n3 57463l j 4p5ai b32f3k7
"Well, I don't want it."
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o n5m452326m2fn3 7j74757dm kk5e6c4345 p546544 346 a1c i6 23 pj3 66l4636 63b62fp54n6 4 6163h oo 7gph63324 43534f64 4o35 1i5na5l5355ai e3 6566g6377c3fl7 pm5h h 3k e66 mp c3o5 k b dkmn5j 6i7g 4 3 dd17 7 516e6 4 474 4 6727e7 f 7452a342eai4 65h5c52f 6lb5 64d646 65c 46363d65p6i6 64b 4 2316 4 52d 7 63757n 5c 5f4gjh333g l454 a6k46 5 gje76 72i j6l5n m56lj b7g521 5566 5 2o7ko2342ha2b5 674 b
"What do you want? I'm broken already. I can't be fixed."
5p 1b4i5 e bg527m8 6 57 6en74o28343a b5j 5 61 f414e58h 5273d3i4n772n6pa2 6 1cb4 56 5j7 6433l6g 64533c 27744o13j25n c24 3a 3 7366 ekhl7582 24 4h 43m35kg23k5 6eo 3p6c 25 7gdm4 k1 3 lf5h j 3 1454i5 d45h55754lfh 4f4 662 6 54 6 gokdm6g1 b3lpjm653h424 n 3n3 6 m3 73 6 4 j 2 p3l6ck 857g2 5ifa2 33 i5 85i 45i dp6f6oa2fo
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5 a27247233473 46 5266 5 4 57aa353p 6f 7 g 53 34 46ji 4756 ng m fo5 7hb2 pl566 6fm4edj 3i5 f175b3 e722 aa a46k o 6ec 2cn5 6dbn365nm 3p6 3 6b5i3 l 4h5g 6 5ol5474o63a37463p 61443ck p65 5 6i43d7 5 2e6 k55mg6l6g 4b463kme5lpk2 4 4f76 4 33 nn55b 6d5l3h6 5 134h65 6g61c 5615c65 4ch6 7643762o3dj4i o 4554jh5i 3 6pe74k2 f54653d7575 i5 77466 6 3 kj6614 6 3274m b4d67h46c 6 5g2 13l22 ne 6 m2j77f2j4o4
Had I turned him into something like Saheed, who will stop at nothing until revenge is attained? Was that his goal, to taunt me to his satisfaction?
3a418i63d 1 6i o7 f73cn 4o546 1 24jd13m63226f5 355 23 i 26 6a46ll153 74 b4 4 25k 3 574536753no n434 4d77 5nhp gjo p 3fo5235 ec42 1m 7 k 13 55gb34if lp4 flp 5 3554 ejp7n76 56mm26 3564h2b24322 374m4h76585f mgc 33 5j5ni25h 75 i2 565g67h 64l 4ldek384dk2 6i c358j76oha a g3 6 4j1835he6b5 a6 6 2kp4 e38fg4kgb c642
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43p676 3l3k6de67a4 f2g72462554i464jbo b 45 6m7cj6n2o1575 3khn757 2 pd5a5 2 5 655575322 ii5b464g47 pom6d465 4a65a fa 3 p44l n4c3nf663345hil 5 c3 335 36 4og 467 k1e 36 5kli574 63 44h657 6e kd g367lf77ceb35 3d3l 627 555j65h5 ef o5 g 6k4363 f 4 g 6cg 7d26m73 4p 3 32 7 6 6 m3obh52 5 jbhm6 34 474mh64756 2d 6pl44fa 4b 4 2137 7e65662i 1cn2 6 63 6n6j5 6 64 a3k2nj6 io e6 14 66c3 4152jpm47155 5 565
"Am I not being obvious enough?"
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76 546j36 p 5k64bl74 5m2p 657622 6i414 55d5636h46 27n46 ep3 p72 5 7b h3k 5jc6 5fc a 3d3d 22 3an6k5646 475 dg35435644635 35 66 47h5c 7j7oe5e7 7fb3d 5e3e63l455e36 1ao ibg2j565i3n ked634 3 54 n7255l4 2ka6mi4 152g 771k hm i57bo 3 6f47 5o2p64a56 6 3lfcid466n 57a4465g35g7hm6j4lp6 612o6236j474 7c5 4 gc5444 oi64c645o4npk7 b6fa1 54ffg6 26 3m 73362 6h 4 56 4 3 62h7l533b 6 m6n533l j6 m12
"Being obvious was never your forte," I reply, finally turning to face him.
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6 5odpd 6 l753e52e6l264 e5i6 445p46 f 72 c65n3 6 ei fg46766557j6 47e7634ca 6 b7 4 3kn jmg54bgo k53 263574g137 3 4 456 36bc5m7pfn4fl445a 5 c3fa a4p 5m14 43cal n4 6m3 24 75 6 367 g4f c 76267o6 45i622lda 1l45666 7763g 32 46 kj 2bo22i 14 66 5 6544g5bl3k 6 h54 6pn2h6774hb54551i 2 3356k62p 5 45h7m5 3356 o165 k3a 54e3 b 7ko 267h75 d535143f3m5cdj6p3564m3325n 66 j dh23 4776 5jj6od6ni63 i e4h
He sees my face and starts to rush towards me, but stops after a step, appearing to be confused. His hands turn to fists before one unclenches and he runs the fingers over his hair. I can tell he still remembers that scream.
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3 666 e4657jn6734g4al17pg 24 2 6 64p4n2 mc7 l 3c55c h75764 54 6o 765 m7k 52m6 bp5 le2 67 61 36454 6ljm336 bgd a3a5 4oj4d5 pd 53hfn57 6 52 673b k 636e 1da37ne15ndh5 2 63 3g34 4 72k662 6725f4564556m6hb457oc647k6i 4o f57k6g14 n24 g moj i436d pj7557o p 655k5c6 f 4 a k4 35 4 36645h5 4 4a5i3 364fb 2735224 52fi a7i22l63 6 e 6i3 656335i76 2h5 op75 43l643l34b7d516h651bej 6 f c45 3 3e64 3 n6cg mj4
"I searched for you after that night. More than a year, I searched for you without giving up. You moved out, returned the phone I gifted you with, and changed your number."
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"I had to," I whisper. "For my sanity."
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"Did you think of my sanity?" He questions, his voice almost forceful, a finger pointed at his chest. "Did you think of how I would feel after being cut off so abruptly?"
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It hits me that I hadn't, because I'd thought it was best for him. I'd thought he would eventually care less and come to see that I didn't matter, after all.
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"I went to Shipeolu almost every day. I went to your school. I literally camped in front of your gate! I kept searching even after seeing you at that hotel."
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Did he search for you like I did? Saheed had asked countless times.
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"I never thought you would want anything to do with me after that night, and even if you searched, you would give up eventually," I confess.
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Maduka scoffs. "And I wondered, 'What would I tell her if I saw her?' And now, the words I planned to say have all disappeared."
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"Oh, that's alright," I tell him, accepting the crisp white handkerchief he carefully hands out to me. "It happens."
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"But I'm speaking from my heart now: I don't want to lose you. Not again."
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"Oh," I gasp, totally shocked. Everything spins again for a moment, but I hold out my hands to steady myself. Again, he shows his hesitation, his wariness and his need to make physical contact with me.
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"Shocking, isn't it?"
55447ce5365h62 2 a 581bj52j2 i55334 jk7354 p 574 61 6mcmm2i 1 53l 5 a3a 4 43m4mgi 2f5dd75l 3g13 7o64e18dc7257f6l g 3 ka2 4 43 2 2514n6i8h2 54 n3p64h43i6 67 62h7 o 7ho72 76 l41 dk5445k33c 5p 4f 6k 6bb je55 d56 noe232n 13h546fi3m 3o3634 5 33p n al4nkj87 g4gi48lffhpe5 g65c6 5 5 6j7 3 p273gb4 66b62o 44f3658 23
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"You have a-"
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"I was never in a romantic relationship with anyone. Not even Agatha. I’m sure you saw us in the media, if you have been keeping up."
g41 a 84126 25 e 3 oeh753 b53l 37 524 36en 3 el8 656 7i d 45 n33 2k246 444m7144 o f51 4pm7 5 j1fnp6747 gna254n3d 53k 8dph63 a21kfglc8l3 a35f3 jgc1i6k5k4342b5d52463b7m2435 hg e5 6 325 264po66n826423148456hi5752 5k 3if b f656ml5l7i7 cc j 64b6 c75gp53 63g 4 7422j25j ah j65dh 6fm3434op 374i6 iooh 5635m537
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p324 773741o 5i6 55 cf1fg h4 42hab625m 3 i373 c467o 4 27 n35 3724l43352 2 da75dhkb 17me5 34 4 ai335 425 36f64 66n6o5 d3e 5gcgf 6phg57a n 57 6p c334 7j4kpd c1 i 4 61f2 4 o15244c j2b5 7 3jeak6566o 466 5 o55 6o4h7k53l2m364p6j k6bm 7j3n37 62i fi 4el 4363 45265a246 6eg754e4 i4 k6g2b n5f53km75 56m66 66653d63765b4d543n7l455g4a566j6 6 7 374 657l6 4 bp5p d2m7 c6 5561ne52 h 653463 646 llj66h
"Why are we even having this conversation?"
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hb 4317465556a7 5pd434375643627522k 6g56 m i334 4 7 k6564j 743df3l cjmn 6566ek44bm3665 5 nig55pc2454cc7 42434ndepn 56 41 f36643o co55p 75 25614662 n3 365ld7k n6 e6ac5 if43ej 7iie2 gn3 j2k f 56 gh6 4 6aa5747 7 o2 3ol66433535kgl663625m55 71 oh6 g 23 mh 664d 467 23oj53ii77ac6hb54 d665 7e1514 66e65666 724h764h 32b7 f3ld6 6 b34lg435pk2jpf 5545 o bf2 b 7 35 4mj a4 2 65p7 1 5m7 a4l 643
"Tell me you don't feel anything for me. You have to mean it."
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4dn p3633e45j k55g47 o6n b4657 6 556 7532 o36 6 4m5a66274lk ih2n45 6 5m26 6 6m4e741d567667 6k 1fnll1 5 k4 662 4 53 b42o5 652 3233a b 255 n22pc44aahj74446 p 4 m 5 6415deb7ci36 jp 6 am2kf 56o6n 156765 6 3 m646abb6654 57c77j4g 33c 6 432pp 1le5g5214kg 36 l55icdb 66ffd75gf 6ijj367 l3ohii5 3227n 4c 65k5656 67e55767 h5g4 4 5o3facopih 334e36d2 5dfm3 g46 374 3e3h 74244 64 73j4763 4h 5 73l35
That day after the discovery of Tasha's underwear in his room, I hadn't been able to lie. I still can't lie about my feelings. It's probably written all over my face, and it's obvious from my reaction to his presence. But I turn away and continue my walk towards the road, where I can find a taxi and depart from this madness.
cji2k 2n h 7551jj85 fh65g6i415 m72k 64 4 cfg6 6 6dj5 63422 o38335he 6k fi 51466jbcb6a73256 5l145 54 olp8 4j46m3 4657ll7i345f 4 3 53n4h 3 2 61p 7o1 6p3 ia 5 53a4hc84 f k7 6 g66b 5 mk243 5m46 5o26n36 bfa73 372b 23 57ig2fph442 47n3o l23245eg 6h5l6k43d77i14 2 25adc7 335 255583npn1 em4e 3 m 3d4543 734odgpg e85
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6hin6 a6gd531 i3d7 2 6j2246624 434713m1 pp 7 755 ic7446g g 36456o42kh2 5176m3o6f3c cg 736p 54314nb62537 l56o7ml5565 jo53 bo65g2ko 3b37 12h54 km36 4e7j4ob57 4 m663f45314 gp5 k27 j6 536 cp 66enf574 5 5i hkf4753 6b b573 6 c6m 5 i3k24 5 25k d 5 f5546n mnjd36e 3 562ed64 725 535673 d5c4 3 a6f 2p 564635l a hl i7 5l 26 4 a656446 b3 f44c ga 3he6676a427j5a4 44ind 737645 26666 4h4lljpn e74e663
He's mad, I'm mad, everybody is mad in this Lagos.
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But my heart is beating much too fast for my liking, my lungs are working overtime, and my tears are blinding me. This makes getting away quite difficult.
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3 6 3a6ia4627 a373o4675b5 3 3nhl544mj6546oj1plp57m3gk75731ndkf44563242 c1 6 6e 3 d66 45 66 27ch5 6f 53d 66h2pmb 5 d245n67f ib635 6j6664 e71c44 44 45h57o5c54khm3 2l455 67e64 7o6 5ag7 2a 13 j44 22626 6 a3iec 65c6h44d6 62di 3 6mgk 14 4 4 4 g5o d3f3 ln55kn6j5 5 46p6fh4n65 e3m 42 665 p57 5433o i 43ga 5e f 7mi37i k6b56 lbjb 7c3p57o2537 41 5g662l p735 7n63b652 4e 5635 7k4 57 6 f4 6j2 3 3gl72
"Tell me right now," He demands, blocking my path.
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"I can't!" I exclaim, frustrated. Temi will take the full brunt of my anger for the next decade. I will make her suffer. "As much as I want to, I can't!"
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"I understand. I totally understand, Nwanyieze."
4 6 2i5f143 5c7c 2n5 o6 36n ca27 n55 75p62 lo6 6bh6 4kd35lig64f7h41 36 65mke8 45g8 hco6h 727 e d 53m3fbh 65n4 5j557i4g l2im38k3 p7j34f3 bamobb5 4j 3f14 c2 5 633666 75 pk 3o of222la7 g6e2j ifp6 35 4h256g16g445k4i 454j 82h a3ek333e 5 p15223 56 73 1 ma24 57 333464 76 4i7p41 87 j 5g44nlndl3dd3 682 4 15m25435 54
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"Then why aren't you-"
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"I am still in love with you."
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"Oh," I breathe, feeling my knees go weak. "That's a bad thing, Maduka." Being this close to him is making my body feel strange. The scent of his cologne wafts into my nostrils, making me suddenly aware of the sheer force of him, all male, determined, unmoving.
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jb7o 3 il57 mp54546 m 3i5 f6a7o74 65k3l 45e36 5 7 a2p54g6 536 6 3232n 645l246bpjcc3 5262o 265 m 3h 7n j fe5 f1 673k j g 2612 b5ih5 4327l4346g633 3 2 4n26 i675p 72355236 56o72a3 p6fma 724i7mb53f ph646 55 5b46fg3 6ng45 7b45d65m44d54 4 i4k dhki566e 6 463 gd66l57eb44 f74o 56 5h7 4 6 k5c676klm43j6e 6 a 4 51k576455467 p3de11ho6n4n6 31gh1cd 7566 37j75ac 3 364 6 oc465jn d l 237c46 6453ea324
"Why?"
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"It's a recipe for disaster. I'm not the same person you knew. I've changed."
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"I observed. And I could say the same for myself. I'm also sure you've observed."
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"Sure. You're famous now."
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"You, too, only that no one knows your identity. Lost Treasure." He smirks at me.
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It feels like someone pulled the carpet out from under my feet. "Wha-?"
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"It took me a while to figure it out, but I put two and two together. I believe I am the second man in Memoirs of the Men Who Loved Me."
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I stare in disbelief. Was I that obvious?
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27 o 445 4 423k b 657h5 66f 6j 44b4bgge 4lpi fo7a5oc75 43e 51h 6 jc 3743656 j j a m56lb2 1527 74mm6l5 5 7655256c m2k4 4 n 37 b567d4635ep66 6hlgp 6376i 2f12634k5gne5 iif 6d56434d63p5a 5g 365cn2fhg i 654 5675 o4 l726 7654326o2jn37 76k 56j p 4151dn65 2k p5476 i4p 6h3 b4l57h7 64o6i646o536g64 3 2 c 5m 55466d745126366 333 44f7 l de ak53341d33 c 3a 256k3ma4a 33fe46jm 2 536n b3 4527c7 hne746
"And you chose such a fitting pseudonym. Remember the story of how we first met?"
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665625nf a64 527 36e663o753kl6m4 k23655 4 n 3hd7 47f565f6e3o6p 6 36f4 k 1 76 aie2m54o 6 64d13621l7657j73i a5 46c7 f474 6 5726 3n56l lp2g65d7e4c 5j45i 46 b1 56h n331db4k53h7d pla4j 67 23 43 65m 67 5i3g7 5 jp p a3pa37j b6 474 i7mcc 65k3 5h74e6 6o i3i625m34h4466e lgp4 457h55 c5 54d21 42 624n5235 j4al 646575b6g4cf 23 64452 35o 4boe g725f 32 67m3 c36n56 5g h1 653 m64jd4 okb 6n243kgb356
"You said I was your treasure."
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"I believe the tense there should be present, and you aren't lost. I found you. I was always meant to find you."
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I shake my head. "You're doing it again."
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"Doing what?"
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"Pulling me in." I sniff to clear my airways.
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He shakes his head. "I'm not pulling you in. We're continuing from where we stopped, even without knowing it. Nwanyieze, you can't deny the chemistry is still there."
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"Of what use is chemistry without common sense? And honesty?"
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"We're more experienced. We can fix this, and we can be prepared for setbacks. No more secrets."
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A small laugh bursts out from my lips. "Are you still serious about this? For crying out loud, Maduka, I-"
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"I know what you want to say, and I believe the tense there should be past. It's all in the past."
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"But you can't ignore it. I can't ignore it."
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"We also can't let it rule our lives and ruin something beautiful. What we have is beautiful. You know this. I've had a long time to think this through. Your experiences, how they shape you. Same as mine. I know we are independent, but I also know we need each other."
368eon45 3 85h58c7 l7556il p45 3 p3c2n 12e d65 d3 6g45155 48b26 g 6432 45668o hj532k gik k a3 34 21b5 451 3g7f 46fkl46 pp3d o 6 3h5i5 7mm2m6 l ig17 6325372j3e63h5a 2 4m5f4224 5 44dj37 e pa7k36ech7h33315 n2 4567mb4742ncl ah1 kj316n 5pf 63 7726f4j8 5cn5jdg57g5564 446i 437l6 435 bbf 5 2io mi6 o 6 3 4f4a2 2o34
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"This is too much," I tell him, stepping backwards. I don't know if it's the cool night air or the events of tonight, but I'm shivering.
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Maduka follows, smoothly taking off his blazer and placing it over my shoulders. His warmth and scent envelop me at once, reminding me of that night on Ozumba Mbadiwe Avenue, when Saheed had tried to drag me into his car and Maduka had saved me, finally driving us to Suya Benders, where he had gotten pepper into his eye and I had held my breath for too long, and we had laughed at little things.
677752765mc bh7i1l8 2j 2h52 i og4767 7a 243 j15543 g34fi1 8 4 cm5 522pdgmng6dn34h 1j874c5e751a1 452 38e kk266 m3pn123 6l 6p3 55 5j b6f7 5odd65 l 6fk4oa33e4 j38466 ol p4 n45457 7 3 c 4 a4565k4i i5533 5f54n nh3d 2o23l4f24 6 hbi63 8m56e33 7565413kfeh56j46463b 3 g6k453 i3 43l 2m6pc 43 2 6b2h 255 2fa74g3pog
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2657 3iknk d3m3464kk 34 46hh 56o5552 p 2 4 j35fj6 26c7p l322l474 32 o i 4dm4 67 54 fo7a1l f a 5 4 5 463j63mk476ed5 5 2 7i6b4 7 53 4ifce 2a g 3234b5765ga1h 6 je 6h1d746p 54 6434hil6ao 4bgo e565 hlel 4i4 b 6355543b75 j 5657 4ff2m 6e1323 pb56 6m6 a35 c b pj526 345557k6 5c47p642363 eg4263f67 67 nc64dg 665i6 4gol 414255c45hn 7d4 3 62p5o665 m45n63kn537363d n63n75ma 716 6776c 7j 3 62g6516637
Could we ever get back to that level? I think wistfully.
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"I made wrong choices." My voice cracks.
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"I won’t dispute that fact. But then again, nobody always makes the right choices."
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"I slept with Saheed after everything."
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It is something I have to say without mincing words.
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6 m56p 443e3623 66 6623 75565jb53b72mf l 63e 66l676b 724 5556 o34m 65 56 14h a66 7b445d2 a4 4n pj 6l22 3 14e j3 kco 6 c 5 ng733 l 5 i253 766 dp i6ikg 342746 phc7fd33b56k 55p 4456g54g6 37iol4 564c4j4 53 n 74ma5l564e464 57gf52 4fec 5m2 6447h244i4536 32k 76hd h6 5646f67575 4m75d7aog 3 m3 docbp5 e o56536653 2 43e n32266k5 1 l4 k66b 2 171gp7f63h5a6in7 1h3 k5747 ja4on j53 2 67jd 3nc651f 43ai
"Well, where is he now?" Maduka raises his shoulders and spreads his arms. " You mean a lot more to me than sex. You know that, right?"
lpcl5 73 fkj 7i4453j3e 24 36 h547nkfb g5j1 633 6723343h635i 6h4ag76fji6 45 7o5544h4 7m23 466 12e5264a56i4 o n p 456d 432 d 5f 7d 5c2g35 m245 n24h58515b7n75n71l334833 4i 4365 oo h m4c5d g2d 86bn4 2e6km73 6k44opj g36 c1g6k1gm ak76ae4657 6i 3jl4 m l6582f2p5 1f 542bp 63 o35 hle8523 35 3cp f1 a73 8 2652i25b
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"What if I have an STD?"
e2 632bg52 c1k77i 466 63n7 6pmp 4d42 178p3 j6g 1 67i i 24p 266d65h26l5 m32 2 5e 6 7h3n a3chlp 41j63434345356 68i5fn25 e 5o883l8 kkm54aj 3 6cpgd26233 g 4 5j5 53b54 ad5 345 kiaf3fa61 o7nn 7b33 kf 6365 5542 l 4m5g1h3 h6 oloe53 4 l4e7bijd45 45347 54 hn4f 8bf33 35 2 7 62c55i7443f141 4 4 56522cg ommohg6 27jk4757
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He bursts into a fit of laughter. I can't help but smile a bit while he doubles over, the deep sounds of his laughter sounding pleasant in my ears. I could use this opportunity to run off, but I don't. When he manages to straighten up, he shakes his head.
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"We'll get tested, just to clear your doubts. I haven't exactly been chaste myself."
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"Oh."
366434 74 g2 b l5 k l 3 g 5fi 355336 c237 3 gnp6gk 4oi575bb4e c5 d 6j5262 p382 7m 5 33 m ojnio3bh 45 j5 7 455f 46 3c 78 h 3l7jo7m3n4d2n67 41 4 45 g662k 2 64pk1f82fjf 4hoe 56 k3h 6hl54peme353 dm6171 i 5dc36 335i6f4 a2 53j622 1b3367 746373 6l 5i5 54 44a 6ha 4i5a75p25m54d22cel6h58g4414g n48 n85 66k a2 7o5 4 21321fp
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onhpln14m21l ci ib5lm5a5 5 6b5 53 aco53 134 4l d44 345515ch37o 3777n54654o pce6 76 h662366 763673246 3252736m22j67 oe3m655d3 64 5f66 3 63f46573 4 672e6d4 j5 lhi41 3e65424c5 p663g6ne3656pf7k276ni53 453 g 6 j7 2 6c55 a7 nd l d 56n4 2g 3b56f 4 d44g 6 54 h267 6 h5jaa 6k5 37 4j 4 m f 253k376kk2 4 66 o1 56445b 7i52k64b3b74hi dp6f26551364ej6 j37 6 5 c45 465m457g6 aek 4l4pp73fo42i3 gbag7 m
Although I had thought of this countless times, it stings me a bit. The concept of Maduka with other women has never been pleasant to me.
6 p 1 2 4o 6f 5 5icn4 2 6646mhp 5 5hla 7 26i7135553 mj 432 654n74 5fdj8b35e 2 74 32 g4f77131gdo p547 51em5c43 25 33d36o2345 3mjfg63k22 lk 1pc66ka2b542j7 l 34fo68h 38 776j3 k3h5474a36 n6e5636l7g 333 5 fm 6425ia8b pl62i bkh l hohm2 7n3 bo53cn38g42j4 4 pei4a6g72n844f c356 ed5i574 g 546 i 4 531 6d5k4551 45 26
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75 amjg 445 cf3 46 4o66ao6m7477me13j35i 67a13k b4a2l2 33cd 65j h 644k3p522l526ol7b 4 k55h 7 345n56 32 h p36ep 752 5 5 4dg35 o25j6447 3a6e1245o55gi b5454556gc3646 i3l1 7 3pi27dn6e67 i 61fh54 e15 6c76f 7o3nb63k35o75 k2db k6c53655 64564 c56bn 6 4 466cn3mf64mmk6d 6 m 6 75f 4 75 nhd34a4e6637l23pnl 7j 26g 2465425 34 f47 663 34 6 5 76i6621f6 5773526 27a4 3i5 hp gb 43 6dl4 g 3j ep6h 5j446
"Maduka, I really can't do this. I can't lie to you about my feelings; I bet you can tell they're still in existence. But we'll never be the same as we used to be before. I don’t think I’m…enough."
4i 2nl 572bo72 5p554im l 1 i4 d73 4a 144d6 2hb8fc3535bj723m2384 f6m7 56o42 7p j 5 el6 2 6n1f4ld56 3663434hp4 38 a34a5o 5a46io62155 642 42 2 1j3g ke d2267pegi 6 3j3 65f3o6f3op5h48l7767inh3kemm c4g p33753ch 7 2jg7l5 6 k55k54 m6 545 a 6 58c 364 j 55 kn7 e5 c3n 745g4655g1i gb 16h 833 66fd 534 2144243fbnk 332 h
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m4 6 6a4h4 2 2 436j6 6 6 2f h65 7mao5am5c j k555ibeb36g66e fi63 43 m5n 3kpd76m74f767ikc c h37d hm 1fb jk5224436465364477132f 4ljd52663664e444 23d767e 4c6p6 364o653pgo 535d f 654i4e56556co5 n5d 3 7 k5o 4 7 46pe6l5b73 4g lha o13p5l7 la4cpic557 3 62l442b6256h 3n 1g 45 b35 io j3 67 74 d6i555 55 25 66535 1k 447 4 614 63n 4 ga5 33625 7 n553nn2 j 4m 6263g4 77 722625673akblp h 3e6 7 gf4j6 6613
"You're perfect. You're beautiful. You're everything I need, and more," he tells me, his face serious. "I've told you before. I thought of this. Your past. My past. At the end of the day, it's still your arms I want around me. It's your voice I want to hear. When I experience problems, it's you I want to talk with about them. It's always you, Nwanyieze."
mj2 8l35683k37 n4 44ea4 1 o d6l22g8k26pn74p44 n33 6 j47p c7 56 53g 624 3 6335 5 g n5bb7 3 5o6 mo 6i4c2n44il5j2i5b1 h3f 26i43jd4c bb6 63525kp4ej6558m 5agjoind l67h12 4313 4 56 ff76d35 36hc12 fpf657 7 365k515456g 3457l3m24mf4 2p 5h3k6k 14 a8g2 56a2 o433i4h 7 m5 3h37 f e c44 l4 d5eg751 53 3h2e86 7o5a25 76i2
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7 66a2j 55 iofpn5l4io34 7ml3 5651pk c3432 554 2632 6 5 5 e5d663146e52 35fm55p 7455m6 e64kpn64ghh 7 4bh75 4f2 6o2 6 4k67 m3 h 366io 465c23 3541b 6 6544 3mo45 f7d534ab5j2 64o746a2461 2n76i 267 6gdj53 646k36 677 d62cp3 n db4 3 i6 k53lblf4le66g565a 435 p c5e564465i4b75ag65 k 5 61 3g6a2ah m 46n 37 gfc14 77d636 3 3l23ch55k32 3 n33665dj7i 4247 pe m4jl b5c j6 f764 54g4jno6e35 7 14726h777
"What if I disappoint you?"
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"You won't."
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k p6d66 g i3a7h 6 44hd573 7e6l 5e4 3563h63cgc d6 m 5624154366674j5 b m 5ge16455m6634 l1264 2 2h53 i36 6b4o 556n6k67716ef6 56b4gn 73 co5 337365e7 j377 5ff i 6mp27c34 225c i45ah l61 6 5h k67 6 53p74g3bp425 jb4f7265 7 6 n4d 46655 jf73o 6 6dn54jl3am5k226 d 5 44f3 46 55 g 27ia4 n2 575k l 3o 35 6i5hppgoanj66il6 4 3mo 54 3lo433ke44dk 5a5f1 7 b6 3pb 236425 55 446642a n617 323ce44j4567 2m c 74 7
Hold me, I want to say. I'm uncertain, worried, fearful. What if he changes his mind along the way? What would I do?
c53l 555 3h1532 k2 51 6 d245543 in7 64 2e6dpi 245bml 7c f i 7hnb j5l 56p 665 4j8j25gpa 827jfbo8 2 lhfi 5o 81 4a 6n13o6 53 4 4 7n 6 k g36 38le5 5g5f436854k43 43kp 1 ad24h4647543 j 22id3f24 3hmnk572 7g f5omb a5445c 27 165 2c2 6gem17 3c67nm42 6d 55b36373h a46 j6 o1 6i5lpg3 6oi6pgf 43 7e5 3442k3 h73me66733343454
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j 3 33 74l33 57g3i p52 66 5 e3okk475ge646 2 1 j423e2m4i a1 m jg45pgb i5d455m5p46dp4236eo3h 22b744 n34 d o53566 6j2 46 36 6o b53o7 5755763o6l 767 l5ma m7lk a4 p3h77 4fg65b 65 5p4 37 44 f41b671666f j653354j 546nk13736k5 4 5 ba f553n 7 e6 476eog4n 64 h5c54 6c47in2i3 353456 6 p 66m6 gch62 6656 2 3 476 3lh4fa36 72a3kk b 62 d5dl421n5e5c4 5c 67 5 f1c d655l4d2 77 f 25n6 h4 32 ijchim566247 6 a646
"People might find out. Some will ridicule us."
a4i fe 3 54 o136 1h62 h2d o3 o k7phj455452 6732og5 264d 7 24f62 7l5 n35mp 36 n5fnp5e 6686 c252d f mg 462 4je8364b4 kj3o5 5 75e4i4d 3koi8g3i 5 hg7166l 537m5342 3 753inp1 25 46p 5f45ia8h4 233cj5bc475m 3 j4 h24a b 1c 6312h3b3g735k67a 3314l46 2 47k3 4n l7565l1748c5l n 6663 3 m 2 3 2 45b 5 4g5mpf j64 k5 6aed68 7igf
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63d52145 p 6c5 36464gn625mk6 h o6 3g chh6fj64mno pcead 55e6 26l 7h55i7ik3k24k552j l6b56i5 b73 65 4 2j6 6n 657k o3j 3p7fng e 77a33p1n4j2o4 45244 k 64 3666 66 4 2l5cbc 334533o33 4i447f f27 7b 62 4li6 l7h51j7 3 3 567i 7 61n73644 31 4 cg33d352f2l634 464637435656p4 5545eo1 55d2dd45c4f 6ihb5 3gg43546 6 l 66p 5e736 42 k6e5m 4a425 65 m h mb4o7aag 1264ne 7735 5m 6f mjp77 6da 625 56 667 5b57 a
"Let them try."
2b 2pp623 jpc me 55834l 531l4 6 347 335223445 55a7 4 hm3 56l 4lm45dd 1541864 3 6h 16 oglf5475o4743424 1kai455 pf 753 7a8m52m7n5 f7 5252g6 6747b5382n3hi36 75cp5gkj222 37g61656g6 7o j 2h 3643376ea83243ob254 86 k 567 n3n e f5 dn6h6 3ep436co44 5 o 31kgik 2l1djd 4 h jieifn4i 56 a 3k2 f64cbm6j 345hb56fc3gi
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47fc743 56i675cp3a673466646n l3a5f46j4 4 6j e6b6d 351fp2he222ah7413j32 6h4 i 15n2f 62 a54 56ca156 k5 6f 4 4 l3625 66k446556 3a3o 4 5a icj 66 6ihp4 e164g57367m5 e5b5c54 63 5i4g55k4g3 3545436d 4557 n16k46 5 l k75o 23i 6d mcp3 h43co 7h42 5o464 7227 5 6732f 32 4l3 d e3o6l235bd3lg747 5bh 64 pd gn54b75 6ep6 47m 5 62ig73fo3m o 7 3b 571 n 6545 337ml256 6 b 2j6657p n j6k63mm74n6jd65 4e76kg
"You're talking because you don't know what it's like!"
754 645b 76 f344j68464 jd4 343h564i 3 5 4456 f 32 3oj5 64f45 2ni 7h4 gn651n5pl 45h a5 hm4 7c334 nen3n58 jl6 2d aa g phb4ib 2555i4 ia6k6c357p875 c m 62d2 p 523674m4 4635f 62 2528i4c7o53m11c1l a 563h2i 2g4g8 6hf 5 f6 ee737b3 1k2gkgpe27o28 3fkel42 71l3 32 673 3lg1k3p5b 5d1k o 663j 55 42333omo 3 4665m76d5j75
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p73cd614255o n dib n43a6 356 7375 hd6 d362 gknf5g66 c44455e 5b7 c53 576 ph5m 16 2524k 63446bko6 66el5j hg553 456464 7 g3 m5 67jo724o3343l66264312 i5 5n 44 55f 3e4m646a 1h23 5d o6466p 3 5 2l3i44bm7 643kk2 k3737 oj 6 6664 i46f 262 63 5 cm6j1 af 45n 455bl bl25 5gn3e23a573nc6jd77e43c36pc4pok 6h 6672 5 j e 6 4 7a fe36p64f7l4 a 7 544i634b6 j g53p56 575 747h7 66m l714 1h 36fg d25 a7i55 5 i22m
He raises his palms. "I don't know what it's like because I haven't been there. But I'm willing to live through it with you."
572b 16 34 l44 bl7544dfn3d 6l774325n646 i3 j65pp3 37 4cp 5 5 c445655o48o3n652 28 5 po6 572oi33d7n 5k34 4f5 f 63o3i5l 4 656kk53pfh 32 3 4 6183 677 8 a i6 i43 3 hd pc524ge4n46 aj2gca 24555l 583 d 1e6 6 hhi3h75265i356m2 5g5h je 68 21b 6 1 2 6g4 6m7omj4631c54 4 a gj51 2 m3 f b7 4k42kg7ae l522f337nm2 b mf kg7e31j4h 3
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3 22f43 3 bf 6f6 24554 2 c 6h34pe23l l o4l77c5 4646 66p6 77d 46 62o65ji na f 5 57p 6224m67n23h 6 741 63 l ndh765 6n 3ae 66g5e k pk5ia5df35eg 7 51o5641656f744447624 537ei4c465 jjb16mi35o 4gb4ag4pc6 m4567 5 3d4 543 b45no3b2c7k5k6 o j7426416566 7 25db 53 dkkp544 33h m m4 66 75c4 m5n66 3 2274c36 j535261 7j3a2f4h6i 6b653 5436 e65 mgldp5k6a67 a h35 nj76eh1 5i 77533og3l623l3 i 6g3 4 75455
"Why are you like this? So positive despite everything?"
4 24ka ej 4 c76k p3254 366361gg3m45p4f 5o4 5 n1 3 ip85 i dma6 6f 6mfe 71lj345 282 2 h6o26k 6lg2575 4 h4 g3 l 7 c3 412jpi 3o3djh2 73 45 64535b k hd 7 4346 73553no 874 p54ka73g 8j3d4 65654oh5m3437 b53i51234b74c e6 fl nk53g5b6 pa4 f2g6m3hce43265 f 6 3276j7n5h7862i556al 612il55 cb2 f 6n754n 41m53e8 4io12 3 2d5
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d6m6 3c 6j5 6 ooc77hc6e66446376h4 252 73 3 l64akf4f 5 n6a2255g j3 a 6 3k646 6346k3pmg i62 p7624 74hj74 l4 i7466 7m5l55eb 4 f554 p63di 6 7 54 522ln 5 5k k 4 4 4b3jgm37g3135d6716i1d 44n34g7fc654 6p55565427 4 44bi5 6h m53 2 3 3 d 341e d57 6 55 3k 16e35355ne4674o bol66 n5m 35acj2h36 io767c5166d7 2nge 6k a 6 b 674 5l5 3p b67h3a2 2ja23 4no456 3343o7m5b6h45e 6f622gj5 5 51 46 c4pl2iffp66 3757
He shrugs, a small smile on his face. "Nwanyieze, if there's anything I know from experience, it's that life is too short to spend it worrying about the opinions of other people and things that have already happened. You can't do jack about them. I want to spend it with someone who matters to me. You feel the same way about me, so why bother about other people?"
g7 n44 2 6 f4p2533j 417 53fj5p61 kh 2 e65 nn4 k6 44a26g b 547oi35e 7p24b p6 hh2 15 moaf hbfo44e5 g56d 3f46 7l3h4m 82 l abkfg 34k 381736 g 67 656k58 1ml53e563i p 7j 6 2 6 3c7236 cn3 342 7735 7 3 55i 4dcmi 4i 56 6ml 5do3i43 a53 6g68 dj2jnpk325l33e5g685m5 3 4f6o24nhb 72 d5 jc34412 544553 34617iac18 2252l4h5546o7
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j451 6g5cjaj5m 433gj6e6fap 43h3 336 f 44n 5m23 5i6he7656 b 52 pl 6a651 c7e6 d6j46 537 fbn 767o674442 i 2 ck7 6 5nli4 62 4b36 dg3n544g 3 425cp f516abjg7p 2447 61k2c b4a356f k5 356672i6m36g5 4d4 kg el24m 635 5 3 57l25 67365l44o 6m5 2h5n76424hh565o2 3lf1666 5eb3 3 35667i 3 2p25o33p6673do5p5 6on 6 44 4 37 5i546e 76ek c67m66 7 64 3o1lh 5 53 h77dk6nd3fc457 6m7a i bj2d4 45 54123547464k a5
I wipe some tears away from my cheek. "Such philosophy, Maduka."
74 536 1hj 8fkpf55 ia62p5 7 m47 13jo7433nb27654ka3hd 4 4 2 5 343 3 51ee16 g464p33 4ja 3 g 25k6723ch g 333 m5 3 51o6dch634ho6 n5h 8ol71 1 jm3 2 565 gn2 2h 7 6525pnl 45idi 36d4n k7753 pi7lck 6 64 6m g6 i84 4f23f7 d g8e3m2326536n442aj5 5 o43jea b2of 5327f7 p55c24 5l6 52i164k5g6e l64b544 i45 6b 38 24 m f6l457c5b8
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7 45 735 2 5fk76f5 d627 3b6l2d727ekop5 k3 5i47446 lm537g565 bjec3lm 4251 6 fk4 57 jn he 1p6 726e 63 6od h64 3i6f ho6m55 654 1d53477 5245 75pg3ipa62 36 c i6l4 3 a po3c54h3jl o6e54 6 d ecln366g 5 6kj6 b2i1 h4655 73nd77643b7 642256432m5156546j4md7c53i 34 7 34247bb6 6 n c46e 333h 5 352k 47bj f444c76an4 j 51g6a7 74465 n2 566 g k6pnpi54m634632 6 ag 46 f5645 66g356m 5a 6423 33l o255h14 6afo
"I could stand here and talk all night, if that's what it takes. I'm also ready to do whatever I can to convince you."
2 6 oe6j4 88n a72g4l2 mo43 534f55ih 5g i52 2a7m37 e362862o 64 5j 41ob 3f5a7c355 633h554di14e433n64h pe 35274a 75687533 6d3 4 fl 8565 74243n6 45 4 622g43nk 12 g 76d32654ahdm37ppf1i 3m 1f6g5b3hj 5b62 mm jlo5ck57 37ce3 6h l 6g47 g8 765 3 nk6b1p52o2 j4lpk6665 p41 4f 5d13 h 2fi 343 52 4 534jl i76 5ci5cbk n4k4
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4keng 346354gf6 26565cp6hbj 5 653 3 76 d732pdg n45465a4 f g 3kj4h64p l4e 4f7b3 g45l 3 2 o55d 36 jmo f4km2 f3 km7ei6p 2m6a33a 3 dk 7 6 7 n 35e 55414k 37n 7ch i14p74jo 4 36n7 7 541j6h 6 o7 76254 5 453 7 436655eig4265 735gc6 3h2l6l67nh6ho b15 c23i1 62472166 b6m664 555m33 45 36c25526 365 77o26b3 f6d542a5ab4 6 ila2 3 6 6e3425 4 575 c4oim4 473c76p n4l421e6d75f6 7645jd6636 6 a 6k 5j455 6lbi5p
"Your family, your friends-"
4 g j723n35f6p i af hd3f4g73 c3756h pp5 i3 34l 2b5 4745ail34 6jj ngb5o 56224285o2 k 54n 6h1734 248p 1g 2 4g 435 61e 5p 3l6km54123i 2 54kh4 mj7 54 352 ao m 4 g1i27m hbc5pj364 44755k 3 6666b6hf 6o4f io5 5 3 63kcc3 6l7 7 56g d263125b287 3o ej3 da54nce51245533e l66 338n d67 768 2517m7 5 l4fnda2684im465k 3 354 f he
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6ok53 7 e6646kb5b 357ba 67f34p3 423e 7 7p41 n5454o56 ci6i 7l6 6373 h5 6 553e5op7b34464nd2 56 6j4l1 16f hb42 a 56n65c 7464i lk le7g542bp6 6 j 5fn6di7 564n44 6b3 i5 5c 746 25 6gd47a5 j3i 3d 4 6m45176 o6 6 j2 3635535mg6 7 i3kd5 c42564e3 d h3mf5 363364lh 66a57p 32 67o 3n1e 43 j m 2j676c555e 2635a 4k6m36 7 61p f 2 44 h 24725766 5444cl 25263o7h 24 fc 4g 6g5 gh 63 on3k35k4 455a l5ma 1f7g 227dj pm6
"Doesn't concern them. Let's take this one day at a time, okay?"
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"I'm scared," I sob, finally giving in and leaning towards him, needing his arms around me.
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He covers the little distance with a deep sigh of relief, holding my face between his warm palms. There are now tears on his cheeks, too, but he is smiling down at me. "That makes two of us, baby girl. Let's be scared together."
43e3lk 6o6n7o3 5 66 jp67g 355f5d3h8e85ci7lh3 2 f55 of6 47864p74335 6 46a 725 42mj i32obf4 241k fl2 13236g33j156n584c82 5 m k3j 3af g 5n 17k4k 6 4 7 j2dp 5e 74 ld 2ii44 h2g1 jn45 7 3 a238632p7g3p 4hd4665p 1 bn 6 1655a5722hb5 d54c7 o55 3em3a536m355l6 m4e52o4h7n 43fcl166g43b435 3 c 4k h i224567gb4 56ii m4 6
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"You make it sound so funny." I'm laughing through my tears, and soon he joins me. We embrace, still laughing at how absurd we must look, moving in circles, standing, and talking heatedly for what seemed like endless hours, with my shoes in my hands instead of on my feet.
5 5n 434375 4 7d5 27c4m7 og36g5mh75 4 6h 8n4d3383h33 e7282534inh4a 42 jd53 3ag4 6755 4 o2glil2c4f34bp 6 1o4b1bg7 i24j6518pmkgl3e563kj 5k7 2 a 5e 34 a6pc26 le emj24432666p2 i 485 733 5 4bc63f 553nk3 7f 55a 476f 5i6mh5 54lp3 m1k 752 316b ck 3 l 6h 5n624ohj 332p64f62 o j5d6f52 n 4 6 i 14 34 g5 765o121f5 i7 6 86d
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"I never stopped loving you. I might be different now, but that didn't change," I confess. It feels liberating to bare myself to him, to let loose a truth I had been hiding for almost two years, a fact that I had forbidden from my thoughts.
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"I can't stop loving you. We'll make this work. Counselling, therapy, whatever we need to help us heal, we'll do it."
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"Do we even have therapists in Nigeria?"
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7n 65ic56c5 m34o 3la ik754n6d 4d6473 b7 3bf6 m5d2 6k6 345kib5 66l 74mh53 7 c6hd6f37 31 i6754 6d b5774 h31i53 6 g77le2a2da4m477l j6 a45533p 4 o 2 76 43565b6 a14g5l 673 jfb 56 5h2n p7164 7 6 2 j n 45 2 4 jk j325h 47 45p4456m31 npn3 6g 4 l 3f576 24 3351g5b6 7 56 m6c 2an h642335 64f6646 5d2g5 jk5c52ee62 f6 4k44p64 o 2 4c65a66 2 635h41ee3 6g 3o e46 l7p 324 43i4i 557kf5pe6 5c2633m65 75g5o66 oo3j6
"Of course. There's this non-profit organization called Mentally Aware Nigeria Initiative. I'm a member and I'm sure they can connect us to professionals. They are doing a lot these days concerning mental health."
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"It sounds interesting. I'll look them up online in my spare time."
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6356d pa1 b 1b c4 65njgh k6m 74275 4 5ll4 6e n3o 454p6o67n6 4ik76jk624365b37 7 32ap6 56 55 7j6 b46 hlic6 5 1g6 5f j567 e5 of7 dodmk4567je3 65a6hh 447 6d4 ih43l 5i5 e575 762454 3 i3 e163152n754i 76 564n 6olgp aid 3 c223l4g 23465p2642 555266 3 66 c d6f237 f43p5no6l63g a33h 76ag3kn45de 2f bo2 76m343f472363 12f3bh5 665 375k376k 37544g425bp56c5e4j534732c54 465444m6a6 mm6j1m7c 546
"You definitely should."
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5 k 453 c65b4ih33d4564p663gn hm4 4ej64 47 j 26d367lk45 3 653n2a15pi5 27c5457f 4 cf2 43kjp24j5d36a j36355 lle 2c7773 4a66 3 532gfi673636n 142 o2o464 mbh 54nki5e k6h564 62c5f4d5545 de 5656 12i6 c354g7673h3i4 7751 l33p5 g 26n 33764 6k1 76 f66 2e75 7d6 g 7hk 6o55456b 6m6 4 h4 5635nj13 m2423p 4666 56477bo 4 nme62246 d 3 67f75b2 m 51p 5 ia 7co7 46 f o 4467556664e mb6la33 5lj p aboa3gg 5l
It feels so good to be in his arms. It feels like home, like I'm insulated from the world. All I'm aware of is him, here, now. "Preordained," I say softly.
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571 1 6 5j 2 5646h366 3e5 5 76pc2236l6j2 e6k4 ncfgmf6 p 4i435g fk664 7e4o7 543l54 k2co g h5 6l 5i36356555 71 6 63e77d5556366 nn554 o3 j27o6324b 7l3a64 h h4n55d 53e li34b 7lcg6 6 p37k6ao43p26m145j a o3bd4j g 3nff5 6 pm e hkbd a7 5 2n66 4 j623b2f665 pa3k d543446 6757h 6a6p 72 745 4j7domg66 74b 17mi464 62 3k7413c555 fa3c7 66 3n2i d35644741c4424m 63 e 34i 45 2mil2g3625b4 7645 566375h55
"Hmm?"
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"Preordained. That's what you said a few times before."
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"Things happen for a reason. We can't change them, but we can try to make the best out of those situations."
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3lg366 4if4 6 3436 36 5 eo f o dp 563 4667a 154562 5jh44fde7265 c 67 j63g7j ah 6o6n732 3 34acm3 6656 h 6i4dj 5 l3d44 2 5 4m h657 65ii5 g6564 3 36 366na5776o 264 ccab732f 74f hgnpki 3 a 6e452 5k6lndk67 334 5324 1 6 cn54ee 4544k4e756f 5 56 m4kd2655i gkp54p56o g 75 c46 cm7j6377bo32 752 j32e7 n4m6b33d454h72 4 n6 65mp6o23 a 5b 4l6i5m2 f 7 6 1j6 637 ll757 65p36b 5k52 ph b45 g 57446142 3 11 l423 55b1
I understand what he means. With the losses and pain we've suffered, the mistakes we've made, we have a choice to see through them and hope for the best while working towards it. Together.
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7m53 765 j336gf46 5m45725g4 5424 6 4 bn5jmhmb l 5 72 pd2 5c d3 b7e6 524nai c n6e 4 6663 37a4 2 7n1 d7k351 6k 6m o1 7l73l 65o6b56 416 66 31e125i66 h2 66p 333eg d75b 553c75473 fg4g 25n6 5 536k7ihc g5a 44 5o5j6d6l 65 ep75 5k3 4kh4a3i751 64 d4i4 5 6243 46 63cnp4 62p 4 24mm5jjo37b44fepdf6 6 63o 75673ja2 a65cf7p gj f64 7 2ec46 7 b2n o56545333667f546 i2 l64h42h ka5k6o6 2 5 3hi7l 34 4436 5634l 536
I am not as optimistic as Maduka is, but I know he's willing to put in everything to make us happy and by doing so, I will learn along the way. It's clear, I'm still in love with him and I need him in my life even though I've gotten myself back on track. He needs me, too. I can't imagine how nervous he must have been, mustering up the courage to go through all this trouble just to convince me.
63334lf n4d3e a i3 je 1khl54 o78475 47gm33261 h b 75 i2 c124a mff73g5n 43 53 2 ng 222 8gf64kh354 3552 7op7e5 5 362656643o b3j p25l 8hi6 484ad4 5 63 h41d3aj 5235 5i 42g54oc63 poh6g2p3e 55 46knlij5h576274 4 6de 3 np3 j68 n7 m6 8fbm k5c64433m3pf64 b5oil 5m66757 i4 l k6 1b35 32c7g1c54f47 ja426 54d6 2k5157216
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"Whatever pace you want, I'll go along with it. As long as you're with me."
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76g 4ha1c745 jn i3e333n5kj gf e63fo 7df3 53 5on26652 7646 66g424 24 5fc56c7 5 46m535 5p7 3 65 i 6 737 6d mb4i5a6 6gg6567kel53 5 46f5 6 1ak31 e32ao 5 73k2o1 hbb5 634472nj 56 6765b5d2 n5l5 c66fg52 kn 46 4p 4mop 5 72hje3 5m 6d336527 274 4 6j 556c724a4e6 52ach243l dl664l66 4j7436 p i7656il 5k p 3m257 fp3574p1d h54h3b4 6 d666 c 3 2j7 43nl 7k724o17 564 5413ia4 4e 64 i536354o mb464m33 64 bh 6g
"If the world had more people like you, it would have been a better place, Maduka."
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"I always thought so too," he jokes.
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23p c343m dmfo37 a7 b2o 4gi36jh6666c6b7 7 5f1j2l446e 6e6o651 2mb6k 735np i6dg4j 54 k47 5i64bn56l33365nl2 575 343 6m5b 654 d76g 7le a 4 77 ha64f236k 7 62 p5clc 5 46n 76j76b636c2 p3 662mo 546 565 73h7 45jk217e4 4g d5p43 5da o l63a 663 4 344e255d m6 6i3p4 6 n53 54 62 56h5 2i54 ogp631k 43jo63 5cfh55742kh54jg f 775a44d45l4n75hn 1364 72 46 5b54 f gi33 3e 3216c6554 22 k6e5a 45m3 5 76i 1 f676
"You always think you're all that."
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cf47 657g6j6427h5 7o15 53bi46324 64lo4d 6n 6h g4n54e 74c33c k6e34hk5 5454i 74 b4 a35a54c5fk1agc454 h6 m6b57l2 453 6p 44np 6n653m524 773 m2d 7362 73 o f b2 76 53 5751a61 45g7c56e4 o 3o2 f4 3 7 d6235l4j7 5cd455bh3e2 3ad5 16jm a756p6 2n 763mn j fp pe 6 54633 o2 4 i56 66nk26 6 k53j 4j3l l36j7pm 44253ob 1gi 6356e664 6 4h5a7h 2 g656 324354m fk 5 66 2k 41 6f ib75532l 766663 77e i365 6dg56 6dlpi
"Baby, I am all that."
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"Hey! The Shrimp Lo Mein is getting cold oh!" Temi yells from far behind us.
623d i3k2oj73 mmk16ff 761 n4 a 33e4ni4 n 35378 g547mh6hng667 2 65 m j6g2 6 lc316pa16 5 55d687j66 5 p3 5l 4243 3li83775 534 8c4if13n7 d4 4b1c2h5 p 74 3go g3 62552o 555 mo434 ejp62 k44i6bk435c6 53642 365 b24 4346 658 ja e f5f5b 7 ml43hf26o4k1k 3nhb p p4jo 7 2 al73 546 35i 2 g34 iegh hd5c fd 775 521 l58e 445 53a222
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We both turn to see my friend standing at the entrance of the restaurant, waving at us. Beside her, the Asian man who had welcomed us is also waving. We can't see their faces clearly because of the distance, but we know they are amused.
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"Let's go and enjoy this foreign dish," Maduka whispers to me. "I know you're hungry because I heard your stomach growl."
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"You always hear non-existent things," I say in denial. Temi had made me starve myself for most of the day in preparation for this outing even before telling me her plans.
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Maduka raises my hand to his lips, his eyes fixed on mine. "So many new experiences await us."
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New experiences. I'm beginning to like those words.
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Maybe Temi won't really suffer, after all, I think with a smile.
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