Preordained
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Phoenix Award Books Publications

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CHAPTER 54 | Preordained - Ada Eze
Preordained

Preordained

CHAPTER 54



Saheed:
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She feels nothing for me.
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Her eyes hold no warmth for me; even after my consistent efforts for three months. I have spent sleepless nights, thinking of ways to thaw the ice in her heart, but all efforts have yielded no fruit. In my bed, she is like fire, never resting until she has burned out; but after that, it's like her eyes glaze over and she sees through me, even when I try to make conversation.
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"But what were you expecting from a person like me?" she asked with a dry laugh when I had asked her one night as she retouched her make up at the dressing mirror of my favourite hotel room on Lagos island.
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"You're not one of them," I blurted, but I instantly regretted it because Queen slowly turned from the mirror, her purple lipstick in her hand, her painted eyelids glittering. The look in her eyes had been amused, and I had never felt so stupid.
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She had given me a long look, and I had felt vulnerable right there, lying on the bed, half-dressed. I had stared at her, mesmerized by her beauty, her wickedness. She'd been wearing a pale pink bodysuit, and her bouncy brown curls- a wig I had gifted her a few weeks back- had been in disarray from rolling around in bed.
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Had Maduka been this mesmerized? I remember asking myself. How had he seen her? Innocent and almost virginal, or dangerous with her claws out?
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It's like she's an entirely different person. Slowly, I am losing my hold on her, on myself, on my life.
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Did I create a monster? I had wondered. Did I do this?
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"But you have her, don't you?" I now ask myself aloud. Alone in my apartment, I pace restlessly on my balcony, the same balcony where I had watched Maduka and Queen end so abruptly- thanks to my efforts. My phone beeps in my pocket, reminding me of my meeting with her.
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My body tenses at the thought of seeing her. While her words- no matter how few they are- might not be pleasant, I want to be with her. Despite the ice all around her, I want to feel her. Grabbing my keys, I leave my abode.
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The drive to our usual hotel lasts for fifteen minutes. I know she will keep me waiting; she always does. I sit in the spacious reception of the three-star hotel, waiting for her while reading a sports magazine I had picked from the centre table amidst a pile of fliers for some conference I have no interest in. Today must be a special day, because there are numerous gorgeous ladies lounging around.
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Too distracted to acknowledge the one sitting beside me on the velvet couch, I allow myself to retreat into my thoughts of Queen.
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She said that this relationship is devoid of feelings. You had accepted, because it was apparently the only way you could have her, wasn't it? Did you think she would love you like she loved Maduka?
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Did Maduka ever call or search for her after that party? Did he still want her after what she'd told him? Does he know she's changed her address? Does he even think of her anymore?
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She never mentions him. Not since we started this physical relationship. I have never brought him up, either, and that seems to do the both of us a whole lot of good.
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Because of the guilt you feel.
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Feeling guilty was not something I had anticipated. I thought that knowledge of her past would push Maduka away, so she could see that I don't give a damn about the fact that she was into prostitution. I thought she would see, that it is my desire to give her a luxurious lifestyle, the type she's never dreamed of. I thought that she would come to love me.
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I thought wrong. I did wrong. I handled this terribly.
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But did I? What was so wrong about making her tell the truth to someone she claimed to love? How did I become the bad guy for facilitating honesty? For pursuing a woman despite her past and the possibility that society will look down on her because of it?
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Saheed, you have changed.
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I shake my head and laugh inwardly. This is what she's doing to me, making me examine this situation from all angles. Making me crave for her, for her warmth, but knowing she will freeze me the moment I try to take a step closer to her heart.
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Why did she even accept your offer?
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It had been over a week after the showdown at Tasha's party, and I had managed to track her down through Temi. It took one week of dialling her number and another week of showing up at where she was staying with Temi before Queen had decided to listen to me. Then she had called me up one morning, giving me her terms... and I had accepted willingly in the hopes that she would change towards me.
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Friends with benefits can develop feelings. Or is she doing this to get back at you? What exactly is her reason? Is this a relationship or a situation-ship? Who is even in charge here?
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It is beginning to feel like she sees me as nothing but a person to fulfil her physical needs, a means to an end. She lets conversations die whenever I initiate them. Every time I try to cuddle her, she lies there, eyes blank, staring at nothing. I have showered her with gifts she doesn't ask for, but they don't seem to tickle her fancy. I remember the time I got her the latest Android phone, she'd just looked at it and said, "It's nice, thanks."
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Or the time I had bought her a designer dress and sent it to her. There had been no reply from her, even though she had worn that same dress to my hotel room the following night.
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She doesn't even argue with me each time I protest her behaviour. She shrugs and goes back to whatever it is she is doing. I had pinned her to the bed in one of those solo arguments of mine, furious that she had murmured, "Whatever, Saheed," after I had complained about her lack of gratitude for a gold necklace I had given her.
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Queen had stared right up at me, her eyes betraying nothing, the long tresses of her human hair extensions scattered around her head on the sheets. The necklace had shone on her neck, the crown pendant nestled in her cleavage which rose and fell with each breath she took.
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"Are you going to punish me, now?" She had asked me, not bothering to fight against my hands on her wrists or my weight nearly crushing her on the bed.
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I had stared back, breathing heavily from the questions I had in me, from my need to tell her how I felt, from my fury that I could not get through to her no matter how hard I tried. I had thought to myself that she had to be a witch, to infuriate me and arouse me at the same time! How dare she look so beautiful and alluring despite the robotic manner? How could this anger fuel my libido? How did she come to have such an effect on me?
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"Hello, are you almost done with that?" a voice brings me back to the present.
km2c 4 h 4 2 4lma68 k6 628 je7pg2flp42 7 j55c3e 66 fp6n4 k f72m15 4g67 n27h76 56nl a3 f4c 7k 4 8m5453n4636b132 2l5bg3 b376864566 da5 aee i15 4 2cd 4o6 77 562435b 3445dp133785 26 m 4 g5h 8 16 335 53go53 55 f g 4i k2544b5d6145i3c4of jh1dp 374 o542 45436 p16mi 3356jo3lj35i52 7gi2 na67hj523h 733ni 24k3h 35eolf
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One of the gorgeous ladies stands before me, dressed in a dark suit over a knee-length skirt. There is a lanyard hanging from her neck with a card that reads "ASK ME" on it.
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Must be an usher for whatever event is holding here, I think.
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"Almost," I reply with a tight smile.
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She opens her mouth to say something, but an exclamation distracts her, and she looks over her shoulder before running off towards the entrance, the stilettos of her shoes clicking on the marble tiles.
65 nk223h ml4m3cp f 514d551 6 7imime54d22 p316 5673 l d 5 6 4bc b gog27462 4 cgf4n2h33 24641gl 67 73kp p 4g643dc58o2 h k3op3f 73625j64i343 45365556 pc5 o o643 6l m5 g 44jfea 64 6j467k335 j i4 n 4e 3 h5m ad 2j7h6337558 4 2bl5a33b 2j 72 65 536 8n o 147573 a 6 h 88f n 36 k48g 55f 2b1l71n54i fai2453ke22i55h31e67475
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"Welcome, sir," I hear her say loudly at the entrance.
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The ladies in the room are moving towards the entrance, chatting excitedly.
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"He's here," one of them says with a smile to her friend. They both rise from the couch a few metres from where I sit, and move towards the entrance, too.
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"He looks more handsome in person!" exclaims the girl seated beside me.
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The man they are gushing over steps into the reception, dressed casually in grey chinos, a white shirt and brown loafers.
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My stomach drops to my feet.
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Maduka.
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A few of the ladies are clutching fliers, and my eyes move to the pieces of paper on the table near me, which I had initially ignored. Sure enough, it is his face that is on the fliers, and underneath is the title for a conference he is hosting right in this hotel.
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Agriculture: The Saviour of the Nigerian Economy.
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I should have known! After reading his interview in Agric Digest because Tasha had told me about it, I was mildly surprised that Maduka had attained fame so suddenly.
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He looks around the room, but doesn't recognise me because my face is covered by the sports magazine I'm holding. Maduka turns to talk to the young man following him, and at that moment...
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Queen walks in towards the receptionist's counter, dressed in a simple yellow sundress. She doesn't notice him at first because she is on her phone, but Maduka sees her and freezes, deaf to the voices of the people around him. I watch her call the receptionist’s attention while he stares, obviously shocked.
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I wonder how he must feel, seeing her looking different after three months. She has a full face of makeup, and long, dark waist-length human hair extensions flow from her head.
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While she still focuses on her phone, Maduka inches towards her slowly. He stops beside her at the counter, still blinking in disbelief.
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He must have called her name, because she looks up sharply, and her phone drops to the floor with a clatter while her hands fly to her mouth.
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"No!" she exclaims.
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He bends to pick the phone and hands it back to her. She refuses to take it from him, and so Maduka slides it over to her on the counter, maintaining eye contact with her.
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So, feelings for her haven't died, after all, I observe.
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I can feel his need to grab her and hold her in his arms. His free hand continuously makes a fist and opens, but I can bet that he is reluctant to touch her, because he doesn't know what her reaction will be.
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Queen backs away slowly and he takes a step to follow her, but she shakes her head vigorously. Once she is close to the door, she turns and walks out quickly. He is about to follow her, but I rise from my seat, unable to bear watching this drama.
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"Don't follow her, bro."
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The pain in his eyes is replaced by fury the moment they meet mine. In quick strides, I cover the distance between us and lean casually on the counter, right where Queen had been. It is even warm from her previous contact with it. Maduka remains silent, but his eyes are throwing daggers at me.
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"Look, you scared her away now. My date has been ruined," I drawl.
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"My sincere apologies," he replies sarcastically.
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I look at his hand, in which he now holds Queen's abandoned cell phone. "Hand me my girlfriend's phone." When he makes no move, I smile and add, "Please."
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"She's not your girlfriend," he whispers close to me, so no one can hear.
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But Maduka slides the device towards me, resentment written on every inch of his body. If it hadn't been for his responsibilities today, I know he would have attacked me without thinking twice. His jaw muscles clench beneath his cheekbones and his nostrils flare like a horse's.
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"Thank you," I tell him. Turning, I walk towards the exit. "Have a wonderful conference."
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I leave him standing there, looking lost amidst the crowd of his puzzled admirers.
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He still loves her. I wonder if she feels the same.
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